THE ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST PAWS!

HAPPY MEW YEAR! ALSO, SORRY!

2009-01-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS WITH THE LACK OF MONCHI AND ALSO ELOISE?
DAG! SORRY!

THE DUDES HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY!
ELOISE HAS BEEN PERFECTING THE TUCK-PAWS!
AND MONCHI! OH MY! MONCHI HAS CLIMBED THE CORPURRATE LADDER!
CHECK IT OUT!

CFO!
CHIEF FURRY OFFICER, OF COURSE!
HIS MOST IMPORTANT DUTIES INCLUDE CHEWING ON HIS OFFICE AND ASKING IF YOU ARE GOING TO EAT THAT! HEY! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? CAN I EAT THAT?

OKAY!

GOOD JOB, AMERICAT!

2008-11-05T20:34:00.000-08:00

WHAT? THAT IS NOT THE NAME OF YOUR COUNTRY?
PFFT. THAT IS WHY WE LIVE IN CATNADA.

DESPITE WHAT ARROW MIGHT THINK ABOUT THE PAWLITICS, WE ARE VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!
ARROW LIVES IN ITHACA, AND WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT HIM!
NOW WE DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH! WE STILL WORRY, BECAUSE HE IS A DOG AND DOGS EAT THE POOP, BUT WE WILL WORRY A LITTLE LESS!

GOOD JOB, EVERYBODY! YES YOU CAT!

SUMMAH PANTS! BY MONCHI!

2008-10-13T22:24:00.001-07:00

SUMMAH SUMMAH SUMMAHTIME IS BACK! IN OCTOBER! HOLY TOELEDO!
NO! REALLY! TOELEDO!
MONCHI IS FEELING THE SUMMAHTIME, AND HE WOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO PAY ATTENTION TO HIS EXTRA-FLUFFY TOES!
RIGHT-ON!
ARE YOU LOOKING?
OKAY! HERE WE GO!

HOLY SUMMAHPANTS, MONCHI!
WE COULD MAKE A FLIPBOOK OUT OF YOU!
EVERYONE! PRINT OUT MONCHI'S PICTURES AND PUT THEM TOGETHER IN ORDER!
NOW! FLIP! BUT! SLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!
YOU MUST FLIP SLOW FOR THE TRUE MOO EFFECT!

MONCHI SAYS "THIS UPDATE LACKS DETAIL! I HAVE BEEN DOING MANY THINGS! YOU ARE ONLY SHOWING MY PANTS!"
IT IS TRUE! HE HAS BEEN DOING MANY THINGS!
STARING AT MOTHS! THINKING ABOUT CHASING THEM! AND THEN NOT CHASING THEM!
STARING AT STRING! WILL HE CHASE IT? MAYBE! HE NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT IT!
SLEEPING! THINKING ABOUT SLEEPING!
AND! AND! HE HAS RETURNED TO HIS MASTERWORK OF YEARS PAST, L'ART DU LE PAPIER DE TOILETTE!
VOILA!

JUST IN CASE!

2008-09-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

HI HI HI!
SOMETIMES WE MAKE LOTS OF NOISE! WE HAVE THINGS TO TELL YOU!
MONCHI WANTS TO TELL YOU "FOOD!" ALSO, "WALL!" ALSO, "WHY???"
ELOISE WANTS TO TELL YOU "HI! HIYA! HI HI!" AND ALSO "QUACK."
SOMETIMES HUMAN PEOPLES THINK WE MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE.

WELL! NOW WE HAVE PROOF! WE ARE NOT THE ONES WHO MAKE TOO MANY NOISES!
LOOK AT WHAT THE HUMAN PEOPLES HAVE!

WHAT IS IT? WE ARE NOT SURE.
IT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, BUT NOT AS LONG AS US.
FOR TWO YEARS, WE GOT TO MAKE ALL THOSE NOISES! HECK, YEAH!
THEN THE BUTTON MONSTER CAME HOME AND IT MAKES NOISES LOUDER THAN EVERYTHING!
LOUDER THAN BOW-TIE AND GIRL, THE RACCOONS WHO LIVE IN THE TREE NEXT DOOR AND LIKE TO SCREEEEEEEAM!
LOUDER THAN HISSY CATS WHO ARE JERKS WITH THEIR HISSING! DO NOT HISS AT US! WE ARE MONCHI AND ELOISE! SUPER-AMAZING CATS OF AMAZINGNESS!
THE STUPID MACHINE HAS BEEN IN THE HOUSE FOR TWELVE YEARS, WE THINK.
BUT! SOMETIMES IT WAS ASLEEP! AND WE WERE HAPPY!

AND THEN! WOW!
IF YOU TAKE THE STUPID NOISE MACHINE OUT OF ITS NEST, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TERRIFIC!
LOOK! LOOK AT HOW GREAT IT IS!

HECK, YEAH!
TAKE THAT, STUPID MACHINE!
WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, WE WILL TAKE OVER!
OUR NOISES ARE BETTER THAN YOURS! OUR NOISE IS PURRRRR.

YEP!
WE ARE GREAT! SUPER GREAT!
HEY, STUPID MACHINE! YOU SHOULD RUN AWAY, BUT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! WE WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF IT! HOW ABOUT WE TRADE! YOU CAN HAVE THE BOX OF LITTER! WE CAN HAVE YOUR HOUSE!
THE INSIDE IS VELVET! ALMOST AS SOFT AS OUR FUR! ALMOST! BUT WE ARE STILL THE BEST!

HEY! HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
WHY ARE YOU FLASHING THE LIGHT AT US?
WE LOOK MUCH MORE CONTINENTAL WITHOUT THAT STUPID LIGHT.
WHAT? HUMAN PEOPLES DON'T HAVE THE SUPER-VISION THAT US FANTASTIC PAWS HAVE?
WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? NOT OURS! WE ARE GREAT! WE ARE CATS!
WE WILL LET YOU SHINE THE FLASH ON US FOR APPROXIMATELY TWO SECONDS, BUT ONLY SO PEOPLE CAN SEE THE HIGHLIGHTS IN OUR TERRIFIC FUR! LOOK AT THAT! SO GREAT!
OKAY! NOW GO AND TAKE THAT BUTTON NOISE MACHINE AWAY!
WE WILL LOOK AFTER ITS HOUSE!
OKAY! BYE! BYE-A! HI! BYE!

HOW TO FIX EVERYTHING! BY MONCHI!

2008-09-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

HIYA! MOO HERE!
SOMETIMES I GETS SAD! IT IS TRUE!
MANY THINGS TORMENT ME!
THE WALLS! THE WALLS!
ESPECIALLY THE WALL IN THE BATHROOM!
I CLIMB ON THE TOILET AND YELL AT THE WALL!
WAAAALLLLLL! WHYYYYY? WAAALLLLLL!
ALSO, EXISTENCE TORMENTS ME!
EXIIIIIISTENNNNNNCE!

ELOISE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS THE SAD!
LOOK AT ME! SO TRAGIC!

SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD ARE!
NEWSPAPERS!
WHY ARE THEY ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! I WAS GOING TO EAT THEM! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THEM? CAN I EAT THEM?
TREATS!
CAN I HAVE SOME NOW? OKAY! WHAT ABOUT NOW? WHAT? NO. I DO NOT WANT THE ONES IN MY BOWL. THEY ARE TWO SECONDS OLD. NEW TREATS! NOW! HEY! WHAT ARE THESE? TREATS! HEY! WHEN DID THEY GET HERE! WOW! HEY! WHERE DID MY TREATS GO? I ATE THEM? OKAY! OH. TREATS! CAN I HAVE SOME NOW?

UNLIKE MY SISTER, I DO NOT WRITE POETRY.
I AM A BOY. THAT IS NOT FOR ME.
ALSO, I CANNOT READ.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS GREAT FOR THE SADS?

SUPERSMUSHING!!!
THAT'S THE TICKET!
HEY! ARE YOU GOING TO SMUSH ME? WHAT ABOUT NOW? NOW? OKAY!
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT? SUPERSMUSHING! YOU KNOW WHAT A GREAT THING TO SUPERSMUSH IS?
MY HEAD! IT'S FURRY! VERY FURRY! THE FURRIEST!
GO AHEAD, SUPERSMUSH IT! BUT DON'T TAKE AWAY MY DIRT! IT IS MY FAVOURITE! DIRT ON MY HEAD! HEY! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT DIRT? CAN I EAT IT?

SUPERSMUSHING!!!
HECK, YEAH!
TO THE LEFT! MORE! LEFTERLY! UPWARDS! TOWARDS THE EARNUZZLE!
HERE, I WILL HELP YOU! I WILL SMUSH MY HEAD THIS WAY AND YOU CAN SMUSH IT A LITTLE THAT WAY! OKAY! YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO TODAY, RIGHT? OKAY! RIGHT-ON!

PAWETRY! BY ELOISE!

2008-09-10T15:57:00.001-07:00

ELOISE WILL BE THIRTEEN ON OCTOBER 19!
HOLY PAWLEDO!
AND! WHAT AN HONOUR! AS AN ALMOST-TEENAGER, MISS MOUSE HAS DECIDED TO SHARE HER POETRY WITH US!
WOW! THANKS! GREAT WORK, ELOISE!
WHAT'S THAT? NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY MORRISSEY RECORDS. WHY DO YOU ASK?

---

OH, LIFE.
YOU CRUEL, CRUEL, CENTAUR OF DESPAIR.
I SIT AND I WAIT FOR THE CLOUDS OF DREARINESS TO PART.
OH, HOW I WAIT.

OH, LIFE.
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BUSHEL OF PARSNIPS OF SORROW.
YOU MOCK ME WITH YOUR GLIMMERS OF HOPE, WHICH TURN OUT TO BE NOTHING BUT REFLECTIONS IN THE MIRROR OF THE PUDDLES OF THE TRAGEDY OF THE SANDS THROUGH THE HOURGLASS OF THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.

WHY?
WHY?
WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME?
IT IS TRUE, I AM A CAT. A MERE CAT. A DUSTY FELINE, WARILY EYING THE DUST ON THE FLOOR.
THE DUST! THE DUST! THE DUST ON THE FLOOR! LOOK AT HOW MY BROTHER EATS IT UP! MONCHI! THE DUST! WHY MUST YOU EAT THE DUST? IT IS ON YOUR FACE! COVERED! COVEEEEERED! YOU ARE COVERED IN DUST!
WHY?
WHY?

WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED.

WONDERSLUMBER!

2008-09-07T15:23:00.000-07:00

CAN'T TYPE! TOO MUCH LOVE! EXPLODING!

HECK YEAH!

2008-08-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

THE DUDES ARE VERY JEALOUS THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE A MUSIC VIDEO ABOUT THEM!
THEY HAVE SONGS, BUT NO VIDEO!
ELLIE'S SONGS ARE ABOUT HER FANTASTIC BELLY! MONCHI'S SONGS ARE ABOUT HIS FEETS AND GORILLAS!

BARKLEY IS A LUCKY DUDE! HERE IS HIS SONG!

"BARKLEY THE CAT" - Marc Israel Music Video! from Marc Israel on Vimeo.

"SITTING AND ALSO SLEEPING!" PART MANY IN A SERIES OF MANY! BY THE DUDES! STARRING THE DUDES!

2008-08-05T15:34:00.001-07:00

HIYA! DUDES HERE! MONCHI AND ALSO ELOISE!
DID YOU KNOW WE ARE GREAT AT SITTING AND ALSO SLEEPING?
IT IS TRUE! WE ARE!
SOME OF YOU MAY NOT BE AS SKILLED IN THE ART OF SITTING AND ALSO SLEEPING AS WE ARE, SO WE HAVE DECIDED TO TEACH YOU WITH OUR EXCITING AND HIGHLY INFORMATIVE PHOTOS!

HERE, WE DEMONSTRATE THE ART OF SITTING!
ACTUALLY, WE ARE LAYING DOWN! BUT NOT SLEEPING! NOT RIGHT NOW!
YOU MAY NOTICE THAT WE ARE SITTING ON THE FLOOR. IT IS TRUE! WE ARE!
THE FLOOR IS GREAT IF IT IS SUMMER AND YOUR BELLY IS WARM. SOMETIMES WE LIKE TO SHAKE THINGS UP AND LAY LIKE THIS!
WOAH! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

OKAY!
HERE WE ARE SITTING SOME MORE!
WHERE DOES THE COMMA GO IN THAT SENTENCE?
HERE, WE ARE SITTING SOME MORE!
HERE WE ARE, SITTING SOME MORE!
WHO KNOWS? NOT US! WE ARE CATS, NOT SEMANTITICIANS!
THE FLOOR IS GREAT FOR SITTING! PEOPLES WILL NOT WANT TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU BECAUSE THE PICTURES WILL SHOWCASE THE CRUDLY QUALITY OF THEIR FLOORS! SOME PEOPLES ARE LAZY AND DO NOT LIKE TO VACUUM! THAT IS OKAY, BECAUSE THE VACUUM SCARES US! ALSO, MONCHI IS A GOOD MOP! ROLLLL! PURRRRRR! ROLLLL! TAKE THAT, SWIFFER!

AND SOMETIMES IF YOU ARE ELOISE AND YOUR BROTHER IS FREAKING YOU OUT WITH THE CRAZY-EYE, IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO START YOUR OWN LIBRARY! LIBRARY OF ELOISE! HECK, YEAH!
THE FIRST VOLUME IN THE LIBRARY OF ELOISE IS ENTITLED "SLEEPING! BY ELOISE, WHO IS SUPER-GREAT AT THINGS! ESPECIALLY SLEEPING, BUT ALSO QUACKING AND HEAD-BUTTING!"

OKAY! THAT IS ALL FOR NOW!
WE DO NOT WANT TO OVERLOAD YOUR MINDS WITH OUR VERY EXCITING LIVES!
YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN US SIT UNDERNEATH LAUNDRY AND ON TOP OF A BOX!
SO MUCH EXCITEMENT! WHO KNOWS WHAT WE WILL DO NEXT! WE KNOW! WE WILL SLEEP! ALSO, EAT! ALSO, SIT! ALSO, EAT SOME MORE! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? HI! BYE!

LA BOITE D'ENNUI! PAR ELOISE!

2008-08-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

ELOISE HERE! LAYING ON A BOX!
AND NOT JUST ANY BOX, OH NO!
BEHOLD! I HAVE DISCOVERED THE GREAT BOX OF TRAGEDY!
ONLY THE DARKEST OF SOULS CAN POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THE DESPAIR THAT PERMEATES THE GREAT CARDBOARD BOX OF TRAGEDY!

WHAT? IT IS JUST A BOX, YOU SAY?
FOOLS!
IT IS A VESSEL OF SUFFERING, OF UNBEARABLE ANGUISH, OF THE LOWEST DEPTHS OF THE SEDIMENT OF THE HUMAN CONDITION!

ALSO, IT IS GOOD FOR SLEEPING ON!

HIDING! BY MONCHI!

2008-08-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

MONCHI IS VERY UPSET THAT THE LAST POST HERE WAS IN FEBRUARY.
"I HAVE DONE MANY EXCITING THINGS IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS!" HE SAYS.
"LIKE HIDING! I AM GREAT AT HIDING! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL PEOPLE HOW GREAT I AM AT THE HIDING?"

MONCHI WOULD ALSO LIKE PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT HE IS GREAT AT THE YELLING AND ALSO THE CHEWING, BUT THERE ARE NO PHOTOS OF THAT!

NOW, PRESENTING HIDING! BY MONCHI!

YOU MUST MAKE YOURSELF INVISIBLE! LIKE THE NINJA!
NOT LIKE THE THE CAT NAMED NINJA, THOUGH HE IS TERRIFIC!
YOU MUST BE ONE WITH THE FLOOR! DO NOT MAKE A NUMBER TWO ON THE FLOOR! PEOPLES DO NOT APPRECIATE THAT!

STEALTH!
NO-ONE KNOWS WHAT LURKS BENEATH THE SURFACE OF THE INNOCENT LAUNDRY!
YOU ARE A MASTER OF THE UNDERPANTS-AS-CAMOUFLAGE!

HEY!
NOT COOL!
I AM HIDING HERE! QUIT RUINING IT! I AM TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! THE WOOOOORRLD!
FINE.
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? CAN I EAT THAT?

THAT IS IT FOR TODAY'S INSTALLMENT OF HIDING! BY MONCHI!
STAY TUNED FOR ELOISE'S FANTASTIC INSTRUCTIONAL TUTORIAL ENTITLED "SITTING ON A BOX! BY ELOISE!"

WEARIN' A HAT! BY OREO!

2008-02-04T15:24:00.001-08:00

HIYA! OREO HERE!
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE GREATEST THING EVER - WEARIN' A HAT!

YEP! IT'S GREAT!
THAT'S ME, WEARIN' A HAT!

HECK, YEAH!
HAT! I'M WEARIN'ONE!

HATS! THEY'RE GREAT TO WEAR!

SOMETIMES I NEED A LITTLE HELP HOLDING ON TO MY HAT!
OR MAYBE SOMEONE IS TRYING TO STEAL IT? NOOOOOOO! MY HAAAAAAAAT!

MEH! WHAT IS THAT TASTE?
HOW WILL I EVER GET RID OF IT?

A-HA! DELICIOUS HAT MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GREAT?
BARRETTES! I HAVE ONE THAT IS A BOW, AND TODAY I GOT SOME MORE!
THEY ARE SHAPED LIKE LITTLE FRUITS. I THINK THIS ONE IS A LIME! OR MAYBE GRAPES? I DO NOT KNOW! MOSTLY, I EAT HATS!

CLOOOOOOOSE-UP!

SO COY!
LOOK AT HOW I ENCHANT YOU WITH MY PUPPY-DOG EYES! IT WORKS EXTRA-GOOD BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY A PUPPY DOG!
NOW, DO MY BIDDING! BRING ME A GOLDEN RETRIEVER SO THAT I MAY CHEW ON ITS EARS!
ALSO, A SQUEAKY TOY! PREFERABLY FUZZY!

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW!
STAY TUNED FOR MY REPORT ON NEW YORK FASHION WEEK! I WILL TELL YOU WHO WAS WEARIN' A HAT AND WHO WAS NOT!
HINT: I WAS WEARING ONE! I SURE AS HECK WAS WEARIN' A HAT!

OH-PAW SESAME!

2008-01-12T23:04:00.000-08:00

WE WERE LUCKY TO MEET OUR FRIEND SAM'S AWESOME GIRL, SESAME, THE OTHER WEEK!
SAM IS ALSO AWESOME! SHE IS A FANTASTIC PAINTER AND CAN CUT HAIR SUPER-GOOD SO THAT PEOPLE WILL SAY "HEY! WHAT GREAT HAIR!" AND YOU WILL SAY "BUT OF COURSE! SAM CUT IT!"

SESAME IS A MAGICAL DELIGHT!
HER FUR IS SO VERY SOFT, AND SHE HAS THE MOST WONDERFUL EYES!
SHE ALWAYS LOOKS WORRIED, BUT WE ASSURE YOU SHE IS NOT!

HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE?
DO YOU SPY A MYSTERY? A MOUSE? THE WIND?
PERHAPS SOMEONE WHO MIGHT PET YOU???

AH-HA! YES! THE PETTING! IT WAS THE PETTING YOU SPIED!
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A LITTLE LAY DOWN ON THAT RUG, AND WE WILL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT GETTING YOU SOME PETTINGS AROUND HERE!

SESAME! WHAT IS THAT UNDER YOUR PAW?
IT IS A MYSTERY THAT ONLY TIME WILL REVEAL!

LOOK AT THE EYES!
THE WONDROUS, BEAUTIFUL EYES!
THE LITTLE TUFTS ON TOP OF THE EARS!
THE PERFECTLY PINK-NOSED MUZZLEPUFF!

TIME HAS PASSED! THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED!
SESAME IS SITTING ON HER HAIRBRUSH!
DO NOT TRY AND TAKE IT FROM HER UNLESS YOU ARE PLANNING ON BRUSHING HER HAIR! IT IS HERS! NOT YOURS! HER HUMAN BOUGHT IT FOR HUMAN USE, BUT SESAME KNOWS BETTER! IT IS SESAME-QUALITY! NOT FOR USE ON MERE HUMANS!

PROTECTING THE BRUSH IS A TIRING AFFAIR.
IF YOU TRY TO STEAL IT, YOU MIGHT GET STUCK WITH A LINT ROLLER!
BEWARE! THE BLANKY IS SESAME'S! THE BRUSH IS SESAME'S!
ALL GREAT THINGS BELONG TO SESAME, FOR SHE IS A CREATURE WHO DESERVES MUCH GREATNESS!

AND DO NOT THINK SHE DOES NOT SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING THERE!
SESAME'S MAGIC JUMPING SKILLS MEAN THAT
EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE
EVERY STEP YOU TAAAAAAAAAKE
SHE'LL BE WATCHING YOOOUUUUUU!

MONKEY BUSINESS!

2008-01-08T21:58:00.001-08:00

A FANTASTIC SOCK MONKEY WAS PURCHASED IN NEW YORK OVER THE HOLIDAYS!
AT FIRST, IT WAS GOING TO BE FOR PEABODY. PEABODY IS AN AFFENPINSCHER. MONKEY TERRIER! HOW APT!
HE LOOKS LIKE AN EWOK AND HAS FANTASTIC SOFT FUR!
PEABODY IS NOT INTERESTED IN TOYS, THOUGH. HE IS ABOVE SUCH NONSENSE! SO OREO GOT THE MONKEY!

OREO MOSTLY LIKES TO PICK UP THE MONKEY AND BRING IT OVER TO HER PERSON'S FEET.
SHE DOES NOT LIKE TO PLAY WITH THE MONKEY, JUST TO RUN WITH IT AND DROP IT ON THE FLOOR.
OREO! THAT DOES NOT MAKE FOR INTERESTING PICTURES! OR FOR ANY FUN!
SO WE BROUGHT THE MONKEY UPSTAIRS, AND MISS JILLIFRED THOROUGHLY ENJOYED IT!

JILLY! AMAZING! GOOD CHOMPING!

AAAAAACTION!

UH, OREO? THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING BY YOUR PAW THERE.

NOT UP, OREO! DOWN! TO THE LEFT!

OY VEY.

ARROW!

2008-01-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

WE WERE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HANG OUT WITH THE MAGNIFICENT ARROW OVER THE HOLIDAYS AND TOOK SO MANY PICTURES OF HIM! HE IS THE GREATEST LITTLE SNORTLER EVER!

WE PROMISE TO PUT MORE PICTURES UP SOON! FIRST, WE MUST PAY ATTENTION TO THE DUDES, WHO DID NOT GET TO COME ON HOLIDAY WITH US! MONCHI IS HOWLING! "VACATION WITH A DOG? THAT IS NO VACATION! TRAITOR!"

ARROW, MEANWHILE, IS UNIMPRESSED.

OH MY OREO!

2007-12-05T15:22:00.001-08:00

LITTLE MISS OREO HAD US ALL BLUE FOR A LITTLE WHILE YESTERDAY!

HOLY BONES, WHAT AN EVENING!
I WAS NOT WITH THE SNUFFLEPUP WHEN IT HAPPENED, BUT HER PERSON TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT!
OREO AND HER HUMAN WERE WALKING HOME THROUGH THE PARK, WHEN SOME KIDS SET OFF FIREWORKS. OREO DOES NOT LIKE FIREWORKS! NO! TOO LOUD FOR SUCH FLOPPY PUP EARS!
AND SO OREO WENT A-RUNNING!
SHE WAS NOT ON HER LEASH, AND WITH HER FANTASTIC SNOW-PAWS SHE WAS ABLE TO RUN REAL FAST AND HER HUMAN COULD NOT KEEP UP. NO! OREO, NO!
THE HUMAN HUNTED ALL OVER FOR THE GLORIOUS QUEEN OF PUPS, BUT SHE WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. AND SO THE HUMAN WENT HOME FOR A MOMENT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT.
THE HUMAN REMEMBERED A STREET WITH CARS THAT OREO HID ON ONCE, SO HE HEADED TOWARDS IT. AS HE WALKED, HE SAW SOMEONE IN THE DARKNESS. A MAGICAL MAN WITH A LITTLE BLACK AND WHITE MOPFACE IN HIS ARMS!
IT TURNS OUT OREO TRIED TO GO HOME BY HERSELF. SHE RAN REAL FAST, AND ALMOST GOT HIT BY A CAR. OREO! CAREFUL! OUR HEARTS CANNOT STAND SUCH THINGS!
A MAN WHO HAD SEEN OREO AND HER PERSON IN THE PARK BEFORE SAW THAT THERE WAS A PUP WITH NO PERSON, AND HE SCOOPED HER UP. SAVIOUR! THEN HE WENT TO THE VET, NEAR THE PARK, AND TOLD THEM HE FOUND OUR HERO. THEY TOLD HIM WHERE OREO'S HOUSE WAS, AND HE WAS ON HIS WAY THERE WHEN OREO'S PERSON RAN INTO HIM!

OH MY! SUCH DRAMA! NO GOOD! OREO, MY BEAN, DO NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO THE PERSON IS THAT FOUND OREO AND CARRIED HER HOME, BUT HE IS ABOUT THE BEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. SUPERMAN WILL NEED A NEW NAME, BECAUSE OREO'S NEW FRIEND IS A TRUE SUPERMAN!

TODAY OREO GOT LOTS OF ATTENTION AND TREATS, AND ALSO A DANCE AND A SONG.
IN RETURN, OREO WAS FANTASTIC, AS USUAL, AND GAVE OUT KISSES ON THE NOSE AND A BELLY FOR RUBS!

OREO! THANK GOODNESS YOU ARE OKAY!
WHAT WOULD WE EVER DO WITHOUT OUR SWEETPUP?

MONCHI ANSWERS!

2007-11-29T12:36:00.000-08:00

dear monchi,

i have questions. you might want to choose just one, or you might want to save some for later...whatever you like. you're the expert, after all.

I WILL ANSWER THEM ALL NOW! I DO NOT LIKE TO SAVE THINGS! LIKE TREATS! I DO NOT SAVE THEM! I EAT THEM! I EAT THEM ALL!!

1. there are a lot of ants in my house. a lot. i have tried many ways to get rid of them: vacuuming them up, putting out chili powder to keep them from walking through it, putting out baking powder to try to explode them, filling cracks in the floor with hot glue, wiping them up, glaring at them in the manner of disapproving rabbits and missy, etc. but the darn things are still there! what do you suggest?

ANTS ARE NOT FUN! THEY ARE TOO SMALL FOR ME TO CHASE! I DO NOT SEE THEM!
I HEAR THE HUMAN SAY "MONCHI! EAT THAT STUPID ANT! IT IS PART OF THE FOOD CHAIN! IT IS YOUR JOB!" BUT I DO NOT SEE THE ANTS!
SOMETIMES ELOISE SEES THE ANTS! SHE WILL EAT THEM! BUT ONLY SOMETIMES! SOMETIMES SHE IS BUSY! NAPPING! AND QUACKING! AND SCRATCHING THE SCRATCHY TOY!
SOMETIMES I SEE LITTLE FLIES AND I TRY TO CATCH THEM BUT I FALL DOWN! I JUMP UP UP UP! UP TO THE FLIES! BUT THEN I GO KABLAMMO!
ANTS ARE STUPID! THEY GET IN THE WAY! THEY WANT MY FOODS!
WE HEARD THAT WIPING THE FLOORS WITH APPLE CIDER VINEGAR AND WATER GETS RID OF ANTS, BUT WE BET IT IS A LIE! ALSO, THE FLOORS WOULD SMELL LIKE VINEGAR! HOW COULD WE ROLL AROUND ON A VINEGAR FLOOR?
I WILL YELL AT THE ANTS FOR YOU! I AM VERY GOOD AT YELLING!
I WILL HOWL "AROOOOOOOOOO!" WHICH MEANS "ANTS GO AWAY!" AND ALSO "I WANT TO EAT THAT!" AND ALSO "HEY! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT!" AND ALSO "I WOULD LIKE TO EAT THAT, PLEASE!"
I WILL YELL AND YELL AND IF THE ANTS DO NOT GO AWAY I WILL KEEP YELLING! I AM JUST THAT GOOD!

2. i've noticed that drivers of cars and trucks are generally oblivious to me when i ride my bicycle, and sometimes it's pretty scary. besides keeping a close eye on them and occasionally shouting, "DUDE!!! BE CAREFUL!!!" at the top of my terrified lungs, are there other ways i can keep from getting dead when i bike?

ME AND ELOISE USED TO GO OUTSIDE! WE HAD A YARD BUT I SAY THE YARD IS BORING AND IT IS MORE INTERESTING TO GO ACROSS THE STREET! THE HUMAN DID NOT LIKE THAT! SHE SAID "MONCHI! GO IN THE YARD! LOOK AT THE GRASS! LOOK AT THE DIRT! YOU LIKE DIRT!"
SOMETIMES I LISTENED. I DO LIKE DIRT!
WE HAVE NOTICED THAT MANY HUMANS ARE DUMB-DUMBS!
HUMANS ARE ALL "OH I AM VERY IMPORTANT AND HERE I AM DOING VERY IMPORTANT THINGS! DO NOT GET IN MY WAY! I AM IN A HURRY! THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT! OUT OF MY WAY!"
THAT IS DUMB! ONLY CATS ARE IMPORTANT!
WE SAY YOU SHOULD DO WHAT CATS DO! GO SLOW! EXCEPT DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON THE BICYCLE BECAUSE THAT IS TOO SLOW!
ALSO, WE HAVE EYES THAT SHINE IN THE DARK! YOU NEED SOME OF THOSE!
ALSO, I WILL YELL AT THE PEOPLE IN THE CARS AND THE TRUCKS! I WILL YELL AT THEM AND THE ANTS AND I WILL YELL AND YELL! I AM GOOD AT IT! ARE THE DRIVERS OF THE CARS AND TRUCKS GOING TO EAT THAT?

3. going to work is really getting in the way of eating, sleeping, and cycling, which are my three favorite things. is there something i can do about this?

I LIKE TO EAT! I LIKE TO SLEEP! I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CYCLING!
SOMETIMES I RUN IN CIRCLES! I SAW THE CYCLE BIKE HAD CIRCLE WHEELS! IS THAT THE SAME?
YOU SHOULD GET A JOB LIKE MINE! MY JOB IS TO BE AWESOME!
FOR MY JOB, I MUST FIND THE HUMAN AND SMOOSH UP AND GET PETTED! IT IS IMPORTANT TO MAKE PURRS! THEN I MUST BE ADORABLE AND GET FOODS! SOMETIMES MAYBE I AM NOT ADORABLE ENOUGH BECAUSE THE HUMAN DOES NOT FEED ME ALL DAY! WHAT IS THE HUMAN'S JOB? ISN'T IT TO STAY HOME AND GIVE ME FOOD EVERY MINUTE? I DO NOT WANT THIS FOOD! THIS FOOD HAS BEEN IN THE BOWL FOR THREE SECONDS! I WANT NEW FOOD! AND SOME CARDBOARD!
ALSO MY JOB IS TO ROLL AROUND! I AM GREAT AT IT!
SOMETIMES MY JOB IS TO CHASE ELOISE! ELOISE SAYS THAT IS NOT MY JOB AND WHACKS ME IN THE HEAD WITH HER PAW! NO FAIR!
YOU SHOULD BE A CAT! IT IS THE BEST JOB! I GET PAID LOTS! LOTS OF TICKLES AND TREATS AND SONGS! THE SONGS ARE ABOUT HOW I AM THE BEST GUY! IT IS TRUE! I AM!

thanks for reading!

sincerely,
sarah of can we all just agree?

ASK MONCHI AGAIN!

2007-11-15T15:03:00.001-08:00

ONCE AGAIN, IT IS TIME TO ASK MONCHI TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS! THE EMAIL IS IN THE PROFILE SECTION!
FORGET HOROSCOPES!
FORGET PSYCHIC HOTLINES!
ASK MONCHI! HE IS A CAT!

MONCHI KNOWS ABOUT MANY THINGS!
HE KNOWS ABOUT WINDOWS!
WINDOWWWWWWWWS! WHY? WHY DO YOU TRAP ME?
WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS! I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY PAWS!
PAW! PAW!
PAW PAW PAW!
I WILL DEFEAT YOU! AFTER MY NAP!
WINDOW!!!!!!

HE KNOWS ABOUT WALLS!
YOU! ENEMY! YOUUUUUU!
WHY? WHY WHY WHY????
WALLLLLLL! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WILL YELL AT YOU!
EXISTENCE! EXISTENCE!

MONCHI ALSO KNOWS ABOUT THE FRIDGE, TOILET PAPER, PILLOWS, ELOISE, AND HOW TO NOT LET PEOPLE SLEEP! ALSO, HE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY SOCCER, BUT SOMETIMES HE FORGETS!

HE WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS! HE WILL! HE IS A CAT!
HE IS ONLY TWELVE, THOUGH. PLEASE DO NOT ASK THINGS THAT HE IS TOO LITTLE TO KNOW!

THE MANY AMAZING FACES OF MISSY!

2007-11-11T04:22:00.000-08:00

OH MY PAW! DID YOU HEAR?
SUPERDOGS ARE IN TOWN!
WE SAW THEM LAST YEAR AND IT WAS AMAZING!
OUR CAMERA WAS UNCOOPERATIVE THIS YEAR, AND ALSO THE DOGS WERE BUSY RUNNING AND JUMPING AND BEING TOTALLY RIGHT-ON, SO THERE ARE NO PICTURES TO SHARE.

BUT! DO NOT FRET!
WE HAVE OUR OWN SUPERDOG TO SHARE WITH YOU!
WELL, NOT OURS. SHE BELONGS TO SOME FANTASTIC PEOPLE IN WINNIPEG.
WINNIPEG IS TOO FAR AWAY! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT WITH THE WORLD'S BEST SNUFFLE-WADDLER WHEN SHE IS SO FAR AWAY?
YOU MET HER WHEN WE WENT TO THE PARK, BUT THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH!

PRESENTING THE AMAZING!
THE SPECTACULAR!
THE SMUSH-WIGGLED MAGNIFICENT GLORY HERSELF, MISSY!

A MIRACLE! A MARVEL! A MISSY!!!

WE WERE REMINDED OF HER WHEN POTROAST, EVERYBODY'S FAVOURITE SUPERDOG, CAME ON STAGE.

HECK, YEAH!
POTROAST'S AMAZING TRICK IS TO RUN AND ATTACK VARIOUS OBJECTS ON THE STAGE!
TAKE THAT, GLITTERY GARBAGE CAN THINGY!

THIS YEAR, THERE WAS A SECOND BULLDOG IN THE SHOW AND POTROAST WAS VERY EXCITED TO HAVE A PARTNER IN CRIME! ALSO, THERE WAS A PUG! PUGGY SUE!

WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR THE BULLDOGS TO JUMP THE POLES, THEY JUST RAN RIGHT THROUGH THEM WITH THEIR SMUSH FACES AND BARREL CHESTS!
AND THEN! HOLY TOLEDO! THEY GRABBED ONE OF THE POLES THAT THEY HAD KNOCKED OVER AND DRAGGED IT AROUND THE ARENA! THEY DID NOT WANT TO LET GO! NO WAY! THAT POLE WAS A FANTASTIC CHEWING TOY! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO AND RUIN SUCH A GREAT GAME OF CHOMP AND CHASE??

THE PUG WAS ALSO VERY FANTASTIC, BUT IT DID NOT DO THE JUMPS.
IT DID THE DOG GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS, WHICH IS MORE LIKE MUSICAL MATS.
IT DID NOT WIN. TRAGEDY!

ALL THE SUPERDOGS WERE AMAZING!

TOP-NOTCH WORK! TRULY SUPER!
WE ARE TEMPTED TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO "HOLY INCREDIBLE AMAZING PAWS OF MAJESTY AND WOW!" DOGS, BUT THAT WOULD NOT FIT SO WELL ON YOUR BANDANAS.

goodbye, little dude.

2007-10-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

our ferret friend billy passed away yesterday.
his person got him and his brother, eclipse, from a ferret rescue.
his person is a fantastic friend to creatures, and billy could not have a better human pal. well, besides his other human pal, who is also fantastic.

billy was a fantastic squiggler who enjoyed sleeping in socks.
also, if you held him under his little arms his loooooong body would dangle in an adorable fashion. he did not mind. he had fantastic little feet with fantastic little claws that would tickle your hands.

billy was a great little wiggler.
our hearts go out to his human friends, to his cat brother theo, and especially to eclipse. theo is going to have to learn to act more like a ferret now. theo! stretch! streeeeeeeeeetch!

goodbye, little dude, and we hope you know that everyone who met you, and even those who didn't, loved you so very much.

THE LOOK! OF LOVE!

2007-10-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

IS IN! YOUR PAWS!

ON THE LEFT WE HAVE LIMBO!
LIMBO, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!
WHAT A SLINKY! RIGHT ON!
AND ON THE RIGHT, MILTON! MILLLLLLTONNNN!
A FLUFFERNUTTER IF EVER THERE WAS ONE!

CAN YOU FEEL?
THE LOVE TONIGHT?
YES! YES THEY CAN!

HAPPY HALLOLWEEN!

SUPERPUP!

2007-10-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

HOLY SNAUSAGES!
KIRBY WAS ON TV!
HE IS THE MUFFINFACE IN THE SUPERMAN COSTUME! AMAZING!
THE SPIDER WHOSE REAR HE SNIFFED IS ALSO AMAZING!
ALL OF THE PUPS ARE AMAZING!
GOOD WORK, DUDES!

GOOD MEWS/BAD MEWS.

2007-10-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

a little while ago, we told you about a fantastic miss named mae west.
our great friend karen adopted her.
sadly, ms. west did not want co-stars.
karen has two cat champions, mister charles bronson and his big brother ralph.
mae west did not like the boys. she would not eat. she did and hid.
and so it was with the greatest sadness that karen had to return her to her foster home.

karen is a terrific friend to cats, and having to part with mae west made her heart break into a billion pieces.
but now the foster people know that mae must get top billing in her new home. she is a regal star, after all.

but! ralph and charles are not without a sister!
karen found a little bean who needed a home, and she does not mind sharing the stage.

LADIES AND GENTLECATS, ALLOW ME TO PRESENT
MISS DAISY ADAIR!

SUCH A LITTLE BEAN! DID SHE COME WITH MAGNIFYING GLASSES? A MICROSCOPE? BINOCULARS? A TELESCOPE? OPERA GLASSES, PERHAPS!

YES, THAT IS A FANTASTIC TOY AND YOU ARE CORRECT TO SMUSH IT!

BFF! BEST FELINE FRIENDS!

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
DUDES! AMAZING LITTLE DUDES!

AS THE OLDEST DUDE IN THE HOUSE, RALPH HAS DONE WHAT ALL OLD FOLKS DO...

HE HAS GONE TO FLORIDA!
AND LOOK AT THAT LEISURE SUIT! THAT IS SOME FINE VELOUR!

A DAY AT THE PARK!

2007-10-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

CALL THE PAWLICE!
AMAZING PUPS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PARK!

GOING TO THE PARK IS FANTASTIC!
DO NOT BE SKEPTICAL, OREO!

WHAT ARE YOU SNIFFING? IS THERE SOMETHING IN THE AIR?
WHAT MAJESTIC SECRETS ARE IN THE WIND?

OH! A BUDDY!
THANK YOU, MAJESTIC WIND! THANK YOU FOR BLOWING SUCH A GREAT FRIEND OUR WAY!
LET US CHOMP IN CELEBRATION!

YEAH!

HECK, YEAH!

MISSY! HIYA! HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
HOW IS YOUR WADDLING? FANTASTIC, I HOPE.
ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN THE PARTY?

WHAT A TAIL! WHAT A GIRL!

DANG! WHAT GREAT GUYS!
WHEN IS YOUR MOVIE COMING OUT?
IS IT AN ALL-DOG VERSION OF THREE AMIGOS?
I WOULD WATCH THAT! YOU WILL BE FAMOUS! GOLDEN BONES FOR EVERYONE! SNAUSAGES A-PLENTY!

OH, MISSY. OH, LITTLE WADDLER. IT'S OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU SHOULD MEET? DISAPPROVING RABBITS!

AMAZING TIMES!
MONCHI AND ELOISE SAY "HEY? WHAT IS WITH ALL THE DOGS? TRAITOR!"
DO NOT WORRY! THE CATS WILL BE BACK SOON! IT WAS THEIR BIRTHDAY ON OCTOBER 19TH. THEY TURNED TWELVE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE DUDES! BEST EVER!

SUMMERY SUMMARY!

2007-10-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!
SO MANY MONTHS, SO FEW PAWS!

THERE HAVE BEEN MANY AWESOME DUDES IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS!
HERE ARE SOME OF THEM!

ELOISE SAYS "NONE OF THESE SOCKS COME IN PAIRS OF FOUR! THEY ARE USELESS! I WILL SLEEP ON THEM!"

"THIS IS ALSO USELESS! THIS IS THE THING YOU TAKE WHEN YOU GO TO PLACES WITHOUT ME! I WILL SLEEP ON IT, TOO!"

RORY CALHOUN!
AND HE REALLY DOES KNOW HOW TO STAND, LIKE A LITTLE RORY CALHOUN!

FLASH!
WATCH OUT, HE WILL DROOL ON YOU!

LUCY!
SHE IS VERY GREAT AT CATCHING HER TOY DINOSAUR!
IF YOU ARE IN WAKEFIELD, YOU MUST GO VISIT HER!

OREO!!!
SHE IS ALREADY WORLD FAMOUS!

I DON'T KNOW!

PAWLLYWOOD'S BEST...MAE WEST!

2007-07-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

HOW LUCKY IS THE FAMILY AWESOME?
TWO NEW DUDES HAVE JOINED THEM THIS MONTH!
YOU HAVE ALREADY MET RALPH AND CHARLES BRONSON! THEY ARE FANTASTIC!
SO NOW, LET US INTRODUCE YOU TO A MEWVIE STAR OF UNPURRALLELED GREATNESS...

MAE WEST!

FIERCE!

ELUSIVE!

POSSIBLY STARING INTO YOUR SOUL!

AND, HOLY TOLEDO, THE LADIES OF THE FAMILY AWESOME ARE SO VERY BEAUTIFUL!

TOP-NOTCH!

MAE WEST DOES NOT LIKE THE BOY CATS YET!
THE BOY CATS ARE SKULKY SKITTERERS. THEY ROAM TOGETHER.
MAE WEST DOES NOT APPROVE! NO SKULKING! THAT IS NOT RED-CARPET BEHAVIOUR!
WHAT?
THE CARPET IS NOT RED? IT IS BEIGE?
MAE WEST DOES NOT BELIEVE YOU!
MAE WEST MAY BE NO ANGEL, BUT SHE SURE IS A TERRIFIC CAT!

SUMMAH SUMMAH SUMMAHTIME!

2007-07-15T19:29:00.001-07:00

WHEN THE WEATHER IS HOT, THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SLEEP!

ON THE FLOOR!
PAWS UP, LITTLE DUDES!

MONCHI HAS DECIDED THAT THE BELLY-UP, PAWS OUT, WAY OF SLEEPING IS THE BEST WAY!
HE WILL SLEEP LIKE THAT EVEN IF IT IS NOT HOT!
WHAT A LITTLE HAM!

SPEAKING OF HAMS, ELOISE HAS ALSO DISCOVERED A NEW NAP SPOT!

ON TOP OF A PLASTIC BAG!
IF THE STUFF IS STILL IN THE PLASTIC BAG, THAT IS FINE! LIGHT BULBS ARE COMFORTABLE!

IS THERE A PROBLEM? HECK, NO!

THIS IS TERRIFIC!
MAYBE NEXT TIME, ELOISE WILL TRY NAPPING ON A BAG FROM THE GROCERY STORE!
WILL IT MAKE A BETTER BED THAN A BAG FROM THE HARDWARE STORE? WHO KNOWS!

ME AND MY ARROW!

2007-07-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

HE IS NOT MY ARROW, BUT - HOT DANG! - I WISH HE WAS!
ARROW LIVES IN BROOKLYN WITH KATRINA AND JOHN!
I AM SAD THAT THEY LIVE SO FAR AWAY, BUT MAYBE IT IS A GOOD THING? IF ARROW WERE CLOSE BY, I DO NOT KNOW IF I COULD AVOID PUPNAPPING HIM! ALSO, I WOULD CHEW ON HIS EARS!

ENOUGH TALK! MEET ARROW!

ZOMG!
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN?
SO MUCH AWESOMENESS IN SUCH A LITTLE GUY! HOW DOES HE DO IT?
WE WILL ASK HIM WHEN WE MEET HIM! THE ANSWER IS LIKELY TO BE "BAROO?"

THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN SAY THAT WILL ADD TO THE GREATNESS OF ARROW!
INSTEAD, HERE ARE SOME NAMES WE LIKE TO CALL HIM:
BEAN!
BEAN-BEAN!
LITTLE BEAN!
BEAN MACHINE!
LITTLE DUDE WHO IS JUST A LITTLE BEAN!
MISTER AWESOME!

PUP-PUP HOORAY!

2007-07-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

HOLY AMAZINGNESS!
WE HAVE SO MANY SPECIAL GUESTS TO SHARE WITH YOU!
IT IS BEDTIME NOW, BUT WE PROMISE TO SHOW YOU THESE GUYS REAL SOON!

ARROW!
HE IS A BABY BOSTON TERRIER!
HE IS A LITTLE BEAN AND SO VERY ADORABLE!

FLASH!
HE IS A BASSET HOUND! WHAT A GREAT HOUND!

AND, OF COURSE, MONCHI AND ELOISE DOING RANDOM THINGS IN A MANNER THAT WILL ENTERTAIN AND DELIGHT YOU! PERHAPS EVEN FASCINATE YOU! HOPEFULLY, THEY WILL NOT PERPLEX YOU! BUT THEY WILL SURELY PURRRRRPLEX YOU!

THE PAWSY POSSE!

2007-07-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

LONG TIME, NO PAWS!
SORRY!

TO MAKE UP FOR IT, WE HAVE AN EXTRA-SPECIAL GUEST TO SHOW YOU!
REMEMBER RALPH?
HE WAS ONE OF THE PAWS VERY FIRST GUEST STARS!

LOOK HOW BIG AND FLOPPITY HE IS NOW!

HE LIVES A FEW HOURS FROM MONCHI AND ELOISE WITH THE FAMILY AWESOME!
AND! AND! AND!
NOW HE HAS A NEW FRIEND!

INTRODUCING...
MISTER CHARLES BRONSON, ESQUIRE!

WHAT A GREAT DUDE! LOOK AT HIS FACE!
HE HAS PLANS! HE MAY BE LITTLE, BUT HE IS UP TO SOMETHING!
HIJINX? TOMFOOLERY? WHO KNOWS!

HERE IS WHAT HIS PERSON SAYS ABOUT HIM!
"Bronson MUST travel at Ralph's side all the time. MUST. Then every so
often Ralph says, 'enough already! lemme alone!', only it's more of a hiss,
and Bronson skips away and comes back a minute later for more following.
They look like the Sharks or the Jets, moving all in unison-like."

HERE, BRONSON DEMONSTRATES THE FINE ART OF HIDING FROM RALPH!

IT IS LIKE SPY VS. SPY, ONLY WITH CATS! WELL... A CAT!
SORT OF? OKAY!

AND NOW FOR THE FINALE!
ARE YOU READY?

AAAAAAARGH!
THE FANTASTICNESS IS BLOWING MY MIND!

NORMALLY, WE DO NOT PUT PICTURES OF HUMANS ON THE PAWS.
BUT WHEN YOU HAVE A HUMAN AS AWESOME AS AIDAN, YOU ARE OBLIGED TO SHARE HIM WITH THE WORLD!
LOOK AT THAT GRIN! IT IS AN EXPLOSION OF GREATNESS!
HEART! EXPLODING!

AND! DID YOU KNOW?
IF THERE IS A DJ IN THE HOUSE (OR EVEN IN DA HOUSE), AIDAN WILL REQUEST THAT YOU PLAY BILLIE JEAN, AND THEN HE WILL DANCE BETTER THAN ANYONE, EVER!

TRULY, THE AWESOMEST OF AWESOME!

DONKEY DAY!

2007-06-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

HOLY LONG-EARS!
TODAY WAS DONKEY DAY AT THE DONKEY SANCTUARY!

I HAVE WANTED TO GO FOR YEARS AND YEARS!
SO MANY DONKEYS! SO MANY LONG EARS!

DONKEY DAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER!
PROOF:

AMIGO!
HE THINKS YOUR ARM IS A TREAT! HE WILL LICK IT!

HERE, AMIGO TEACHES US ABOUT MULES!

AND HERE, DONKEY WHOSE NAME I FORGET TEACHES US ABOUT DONKEYS!

THESE GUYS WERE COY!

BUT NOT THIS GUY! HE WANTS ALL THE MUZZLE-SCRATCHINGS!
I FORGET HIS NAME, TOO! I WILL CALL HIM "MAGIC SNOUT!"

THESE GUYS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY CARROTS?
DO YOU?
HOW ABOUT SOME APPLES?
THEY WILL STICK THEIR SNOUTS OUT FOR TREATS! BUT NOT LETTUCE! LETTUCE IS NOT A TREAT! CARROTS! APPLES! THOSE ARE TREATS!

DONKEYS ARE HERD ANIMALS! THEY LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH THEIR BUDDIES!

BFF!

I THINK THIS GUY WAS CONFUSED:

DONKEY DAY, DUDE! NOT DOGGY DAY!
WOOFSTOCK WAS YESTERDAY!
IT WAS AWESOME, TOO!
BUT DONKEY DAY IS THE BEST!
TOP-NOTCH WORK, EVERYONE!

A MEW WITH A VIEW!

2007-05-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

DANG! SORRY FOR THE LACK OF POSTS!
THERE ARE MANY NEW PICTURES OF THE DUDES, AND ALSO PICTURES OF SOME OTHER DUDES, BUT THERE HAS BEEN NO TIME TO PUT THEM UP!
BLAME CHEEZBURGER! THEY BE STEELING OUR TIMEZ!

BUT! GUESS WHAT THE DUDES HAVE BEEN UP TO?
LOOOOOOOKING! LOOKING AT THE LOOKING WINDOW!

THEY ARE BOTH LOOKING!
DUDES! WRONG WAY! THE ACTION IS OUTSIDE!

THAT WAY! GOOD JOB!

MONCHI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING AT THE TREE AND ALSO THE BIRDS THAT YOU LIKE TO TALK TO?
WHAT? OH. YOU MUST STARE ADORINGLY AT ELOISE? OKAY. THAT IS JUST FINE.
WE WILL NOT TELL ANYONE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR SISTER.

OOPS.

MOO'S BOOK CLUB!

2007-05-04T19:02:00.000-07:00

HELLO, AND WELCOME TO MONCHI'S BOOK CLUB!

SHH!
OUR MEETING IS JUST BEGINNING!
WE WILL START WITH THE LIBRARY CAT-A-LOG!

GOOD!
IS EVERYONE SLEEPING ON THEIR LIBRARY?
LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK!

TOP-NOTCH!
MONCHI'S TAIL IS READING ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY!
HE IS LEARNING THROUGH OSMOOSIS!

ULTIMATE CATNAP!

2007-05-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

EXTRA-SPECIAL CATTITUDE FROM OUR BLOG CRUSH!

I DO NOT KNOW EITHER OF THE DUDES IN THESE PICTURES, BUT THEY SURE LOOK AWESOME!
THE HUMAN DUDE IS NAMED BECCA, AND THE CAT DUDE IS NAMED MAC!
MAC THINKS IT IS HILARIOUS WHEN HE DOES THINGS THAT RHYME, AND SO HE IS GOING TO MAC ATTACK!

LOOK AT THE PAWS! THE FACE! WHAT A DUDE! WHAT AN AWESOME LITTLE DUDE!

AND NOW THAT HE HAS PROPERLY PAW-PAWED HIS PERSON INTO SUBMISSION, MAC CAN NAP!

SEE THAT SPRAY BOTTLE ON THE FLOOR?
YOU MIGHT THINK IT IS FOR SPRAYING AT MAC WHEN HE DOES THINGS HE SHOULD NOT DO, LIKE POKE PEOPLE IN THEIR REAR AND THEN STEAL THEIR BACK FOR SLEEPING! BUT YOU ARE WRONG!
THOSE ARE THINGS MAC SHOULD ALWAYS DO, BECAUSE HE IS GREAT AT THEM!
MAC IS HAPPY! BECCA IS HAPPY! THE MAC ATTACK IS THE ULTIMATE SUCCESS!

THANK YOU, SPECIAL GUESTS!

STAY TUNED NEXT TIME FOR THE THRILLING TALE OF "A TRIP TO THE ZOO! STARRING TIGER CUBS, WHO WE DID NOT GET PICTURES OF BECAUSE WE WERE TOO EXCITED AT THE AWESOMEOSITY OF TIGER CUBS! ALSO - NOT STARRING THE TAPIR OR RED PANDA, BECAUSE THE ZOO IS A JERK! THE SIGN SAID "TAPIR"! WHERE WAS THE TAPIR? HEY, ZOO, YOU OWE US A TAPIR!"

THE BOSS!

2007-04-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

DO YOU REMEMBER BRUCE?
BRUCE IS THE BROTHER OF SAL!
SAL HAS EXTRA TOES AND SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL MITTEN-CAT!
SHE WAS TOO QUICK FOR PHOTOGRAPHS WHEN I VISITED HER, BUT BRUCE WAS CAUGHT IN THE ACT!

THE ACT OF STAAAAAARING!
WITH THE TORMENT!
WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM OUTSIDE?
CAN'T YOU SEE THE TORMENT?
HE DOES NOT CARE THAT HE IS ON THE 27TH FLOOR!
HE WANTS OUUUUUT!

AND BECAUSE YOU DID NOT LET HIM OUT, HE WILL ATTAAAAAAACK!
HIIIIIIIIYA!
LOOK OUT FOR THE CRAZY EYE!

BRUCE AND SAL ARE TOP-NOTCH #1 DUDES!
THANK YOU, PETE AND SHANNON, FOR LETTING US COME VISIT THEM!

PAWS PAUSE!

2007-04-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!

THE PAWS HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU! WE HAVE JUST BEEN REAL BUSY!
ELOISE HAS MANY THINGS TO NARRATE, AND MONCHI HAS MANY THINGS TO YELL AT!

HERE, LOOK AT MOOP-MOOP TAKING A BATH!

LITTLE DUDE! YOU FORGOT THE WATER!
ALSO, YOU FORGOT THAT YOU ARE A CAT!

WE WILL POST MORE SOON, WE PROMISE!
AND SEND US PICTURES OF YOUR DUDES! THAT WILL SURELY FORCE US INTO ACTION!

MEET SHAKEY MO!

2007-03-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

SHAKEY IS A FANTASTIC DOG!
HE LIKES TO CARRY SHOES!
HE DOES NOT LIKE IT IF YOU LEAVE AND DO NOT TAKE HIM WITH YOU, BUT HE DOES NOT LIVE AT MY HOUSE SO I CANNOT TAKE HIM WITH ME!
SHAKEY IS AN AWESOME DUDE! HE ALWAYS REMEMBERS ME WHEN I COME VISIT!
HE SHOWS ME HIS TOYS AND HIS SLEEPY MAT AND HIS BONE-SHAPED BISCUITS!

AND NOW, MEET SHAKEY!

HE LIKES TO CHECK OUT THE VIEW!

SOMETIMES HE BELIEVES HE IS DEEP IN THE JUNGLE!
SHH! DO NOT DISTURB HIM UNLESS YOU HAVE A BISCUIT OR POSSIBLY SOME BREAD!
SHAKEY LOVES BREAD! YOU CANNOT EVEN SAY THE WORD "BREAD" IN FRONT OF HIM! YOU MUST SPELL IT!
SHAKEY IS A GENIUS AND A GOURMAND!

GOOOOOOOAAAAAL!

SHAKES IS GETTING SLEEPY!

GOODNIGHT, LITTLE DUDE!
I HOPE YOU DREAM OF CHASING SMALL CREATURES AND EATING MANY SNACKS!
THE CREATURES ARE NOT SNACKS, THOUGH! DO NOT EAT THE CREATURES! BUT YOU CAN CHASE THE SNACKS!

HOW TO SLEEP ON A BED! BY ELOISE!

2007-03-08T18:19:00.000-08:00

SHH! YOU MUST BE VERY QUIET!
DO NOT LET ANYONE KNOW YOU ARE STEALING THE BED!
STEALTH!

AND THEN...

PAWWWWW!
SO FANTASTIC!
WHO COULD POSSIBLY MOVE YOU NOW?
THE BED IS YOURS!!!
THE WINNER IS ELOISE! RIGHT-ON!

ASK MONCHI!

2007-02-25T15:46:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO OUR AMAZING NEW FEATURE, "ASK MONCHI!"
DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION? MOO CAN HELP! QUANDRY? ASK MOO!
HIS EMAIL IS IN THE PROFILE SECTION!
HE WILL ANSWER! HE IS A CAT!

"Dear Monchi,

I have been eating less junk food lately in hopes of losing weight. Can you suggest some things that I might eat as a snack instead, that are healthy, yet still delicious? Pleased don't say carrots, because I am aware of their existence. Also, not to place too many restrictions on your answer, but if you could also not suggest cat food, that would be excellent as well.

Thanks,
Jeff"

HERE IS WHAT MONCHI SAYS!

"HI! HELLO! I REMEMBER YOU! I MADE YOU SNEEZE!
HI! I AM MONCHI!

YOU WANT FOOD? I LIKE FOOD! FOOOOOOOD!
NO CAT FOOD! NO! TREATS ONLY! OKAY!

MY FAVOURITE FOOD IS CARDBOARD!
I WILL ALSO EAT PAPER, BUT CARDBOARD IS BEST!
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT? I WILL EAT THAT!
ALSO, I LIKE EATING DUST FROM THE FLOOR! DUST!
I AM A VACUUM! SHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWSSSSSHHHHHHZOOOOOOOM!

HI!
OKAY!
FOOD IS IN THE FRIDGE! I WILL CLIMB ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!
FOOD!
CAN I STARE AT YOU FOR A WHILE? OKAY! HI!

YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT! I DO!
BUT IF YOU TRY TO EAT YOUR SISTER'S EAR SHE WILL HIT YOU WITH HER PAW!
WATCH OUT!

A GOOD WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT IS TO CHASE THINGS!
RUNNNNNNNNNNN!
I LIKE TO CHASE THINGS NOBODY CAN SEE! I WIN!
ALSO, SOCCER IS GOOD! SOMETIMES I FORGET I AM PLAYING SOCCER AND FALL ASLEEP.
GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!

OKAY! THAT IS ALL!
BYE! HI! BYE!"

HOW TO SIT ON A COUCH! BY MONCHI!

2007-02-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

FIRST, YOU MUST SIT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!

SEE? NOW EVERYONE MUST SIT AROUND YOU!
ALSO, WHEN YOU STRETCH OUT YOUR PAWS YOU WILL TAKE UP LOTS OF COUCH!
AND! SEE THOSE CUSHIONS ON THE TOP OF THE COUCH?
IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO KNOCK THOSE OFF! THEY TAKE ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOU!
STUPID CUSHIONS! YOU DO NOT HAVE PAWS!

NOW, STARE!

SERIOUS!
YOU ARE THINKING!
THINKING OF HOW GREAT YOU LOOK ON THE COUCH! YOUR COUCH!

AAAAAAAND...

COY!
DO PEOPLE WANT TO PET YOU? YOU DO NOT CARE!
YOU HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO!
BUT IF THEY DO PET YOU, THAT WOULD BE NICE!

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW!
STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT STORY, WHEN ELOISE WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO SIT ON A BED!

GOOBY GOOBY GOO!

2007-02-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

WHOA! GEORGE!
I CANNOT SAY ANYTHING!
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL DUDE!
THAT IS ALL!

BREAKING NEWS!

2007-02-14T16:55:00.000-08:00

THIS JUST IN! UNNAMED SUPERKITTEN IS NOT A GIRL!
EVERYONE THOUGHT CLAWLINS HAD A SISTER, BUT HE DOES NOT!
KITTY IS A BOY! DANG!
ALSO, KITTY STILL HAS NO NAME!
HIS PERSON CALLS HIM "LITTLE BEAST" BUT I THINK "SUPERFEETS" IS A BETTER NAME!

THAT IS ALL!
FOR NOW!

I'M ONTO YOU!

2007-02-10T18:03:00.000-08:00

I AM ONTO YOU!
I AM ALSO ON A FENCE!
MY NAME IS MR. P. I LIVE IN CHICAGO. DO YOU FIND ME CHARMING?
DOES MY LEISURELY GAZE PUT YOU AT EASE? FANTASTIC!

AND NOW...

I CONTROL YOU!
LOOK INTO MY EYES! HA! YOU WILL OBEY ME!
BRING ME FISH! SALMON ONLY! NO TROUT!

WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE, I SHALL SLEEP ON YOUR PANTS!
HA! YOU WILL COME HOME TO PANTS THAT ARE COVERED IN FUR!
I WILL ALSO SLEEP NEAR YOUR SHOES, SO THAT WHEN YOU GO TO PUT THEM ON I WILL BE IN THE WAY!
HA! I SHALL MILDLY INCONVENIENCE YOU, HUMAN!

WHERE IS MY FISH?
I WILL AMUSE MYSELF WITH MY FAVOURITE SONG!

PRESENTING THE 2007 ACATEMY AWARDS!

2007-02-07T20:01:00.000-08:00

AND THE PAWSCAR GOES TO...

ELLIE PURRIN', FOR HER ROLE AS THE QUEEN IN "THE QUEEN!"

VERY REGAL! TOP-NOTCH!
SERIOUSLY GREAT! - pawriety magazine
WHAT AMAZING STRIPES - the pawllywood reporter
WOW! THAT IS ONE FANTASTIC CAT! I HEAR HER BROTHER IS ALSO PRETTY GREAT! - the mew yorker

THANK YOU! HI! NO PHOTOGRAPHS!
OKAY! FINE! SOME PHOTOGRAPHS!

MONCHI PRESENTS "MIIIIIIIIIIINE," PART 837609!

2007-02-07T19:54:00.000-08:00

THE WINDOW SEAT AND THE SCRATCHING POST?
MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

WHY?
LOOK AT ME!

I AM SO FANTASTIC, EVERYTHING IS MIIIIIIIIIINE!
YOU CANNOT DENY ME! LOOK AT MY EYES!
MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

I AM MONCHI! MONNNNNNNNNNNNNCHI!
THE "N" IS SILENT, BUT I AM NOT!
MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

LIMBO!

2007-01-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

LOOK WHAT WAS IN THE EMAIL THIS MORNING!
"rachael, meet a new friend. her name is limbo and she's so black, she sucks in all the light from the camera!"

SHE REALLY DOES! WE TRIED TO LIGHTEN THE PICTURE BUT IT DID NOT MAKE LIMBO'S EYES APPEAR!
LIMBO SAYS "NO MERE PHOTOSHOP TRICKERY WILL MAKE ME SHOW MYSELF TO YOU! I AM LIMBO! YOU MUST COME VISIT ME AND THEN YOU CAN SEE HOW FANTASTIC I AM!"
OKAY! IT IS A DATE!

ALSO - NOTE MILTON'S EXPRESSION IN THE BACKGROUND.
"HELLO? I AM MILTON! HELLO!
HELLO? HELLO?
HELLOOOOOOOOO?
I AM MILTON! MILLLLLLLTON!
ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER?
LOOK AT ME! MILTON!
HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???
I AM MILTON! ME! MILTON!
WHYYYYYYYYYYY?"

THANK YOU, SAMIR, FOR INTRODUCING ME TO LITTLE MISS FANTASTICO!
AND HELLO, MILTON! I SEE YOU! IT IS OKAY!

MANIC MOODAY!

2007-01-21T19:31:00.000-08:00

MEW MEW MEW!
EVERYDAY IS MOODAY!
MEW MEW MEW!

HI! THIS IS YOUR INTREPID GUIDE, MONCHI!
HOW ARE YOU? I AM BORED! HI!

WHAT? I AM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING!
THERE IS NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE!
I HAVE NO SLEEVES!

HA! I LIED!
TROUBLE! BY MONCHI!
DELICIOUS TROUBLE!

I AM EMAILING YOU!
EEEEEEEEMAAAAAAAAIIIL!

UH-OH!
I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT COMPUTERS?
ESCAAAAAAAAAPE!

YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME! NEVER! NEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVER!

HUH? FOOD? IN THE OTHER ROOM?
BYE!

SUPER-AMAZING DOUBLE NAPTIME!

2007-01-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

HOLY AWESOMETACULAR NAPTITUDE, DUDES!
SORRY THE PHOTOS ARE DARK! KITTENS DO NOT LIKE FLASHES IN THEIR EYES!
BUT - HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! - BEST NAP-SPOONING PAIR EVER!

AAAAAAAAAAND...

TAILS!!!

NEWS! BY ELOISE!

2007-01-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

HELLO! I AM ELOISE! HELLO! I AM A CAT!
HERE IS THE NEWS! BY ME, ELOISE! CAT!

THE LOOKING WINDOW IS TOP-NOTCH!
I HAVE A BLANKET THAT IS STRIPY LIKE MY FUR, AND I LAY ON IT!
SOMETIMES I FALL ASLEEP! I LOOK VERY FANTASTIC! YOU CAN LOOK AT ME! I DO NOT MIND!
I AM VERY GOOD AT STRETCHING!
HAVE YOU SEEN HOW I SLEEP ON MY PAWS? PERFECTLY! FANTASTIC!

I HAVE A DESK NOW! IT IS MINE! MINE! ELOISE!
I LIKE TO SLEEP ON IT, TOO! I LIKE TO SLEEP ON LOTS OF THINGS!
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BED? IT IS MINE! ELOISE!
MONCHI SAYS THE CARDBOARD BOX IS HIS, BUT SOMETIMES IT IS MINE! MINE!

I WOULD LIKE TO RUN AROUND! HI! HOLD ON! I HAVE TO GO RUN!
RUNNNNNNING!
OKAY! GREAT WORK!

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HEY! I WILL PAT YOU WITH MY PAW!
HI! HELLO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OKAY!
I AM JUST CHECKING IN! IS EVERYTHING GOOD? OKAY! GOOD!

HI! HELLO! KABLAMMO! I WILL HEADBUTT YOU! YEAH!
HIYA!
YOU WERE NOT EXPECTING THAT! HA! LET ME DO IT AGAIN!
HIYA! HI! IT IS ME, ELOISE!

MONCHI TRIES TO WRESTLE ME SOMETIMES!
I SAY "OKAY!"
SOMETIMES HE DOES NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAY "CUT IT OUT, PUMPKINHEAD" AND THEN I WHACK HIM WITH MY PAWS!
MY LEGS HAVE VERY GREAT STRIPES! HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? THEY ARE GREAT!

I LIKE IT WHEN VISITORS SAY HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM!
THEY ARE RIGHT! I AM GREAT! REALLY! HI!
SOMETIMES I LET THEM PET MY BELLY! BUT ONLY SOMETIMES!
SOMETIMES I AM VERY BUSY AND I WILL JUST WATCH FROM THE DOORWAY!
I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ALL THE TIME! YOU CANNOT GET ANYTHING PAST ME! I AM ELOISE! HI!

OKAY! THAT IS THE NEWS!
MAYBE THERE IS SOME OTHER NEWS BUT I AM VERY BUSY BECAUSE I AM ELOISE!
HI! DON'T LET MONCHI EAT THAT! OKAY! BYE! ELOISE!

NEWS! BY MONCHI!

2007-01-13T20:36:00.000-08:00

HI! MONCHI HERE! HI!
THERE IS NO PICTURE OF ME TODAY! DON'T BE SAD! IT IS HARD TO TAKE PICTURES OF ME!
I AM VERY FLUFFY AND WHEN THE CAMERA MAKES A CLICK-CLICK SOUND I CLOSE MY EYES!
I LOOK LIKE A BIG POM-POM! ALSO, SOMETIMES I DO ADORABLE THINGS AND THEN WHEN THE CAMERA COMES I SAY "HA! FOOLED YOU! FEED ME!" AND RUN AWAY.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR THE NEWS? OKAY! HI!
I HAVE BEEN STEALING PILLOWS A LOT! SOMETIMES TWO AT ONCE!
SOMETIMES ELOISE HELPS ME AND WE TAKE THE WHOLE BED AND THEN NO HUMANS CAN GET IN!
BEDDDDDDDDDD! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! HI!

ARE YOU GOING TO FEED ME? CAN I EAT THAT? ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?
I WANT TO EAT THAT! I'M GOING TO EAT THAT! OKAY!

OKAY! HI!
THE WINDOW HAS BEEN VERY GOOD FOR LOOKING LATELY! WE SEE A LOT OF CARS! THEY BORE US!
WE YELL AT THE CARS! BOOOOOOORING! SOMETIMES WE SEE A BIRD AND WE TRY TO TALK TO IT!
WE SAY "BIRD! COME HERE! YOU LOOK TASTY! HI! COME ON! HI! BIRRRRRRRD!"
ELOISE STEALS THE WINDOW SEAT SOMETIMES! I WHACK HER ON THE TAIL! SHE HITS ME ON THE HEAD!
ELOISE HAS GOOD PAWS! BUT SHE SHOULD NOT HIT ME! I WILL GET HER! ELOISE!

THERE WAS A CURTAIN ON THE WINDOW BUT WE FOUGHT WITH IT!
HA! CURTAIN! WHY? WE WILL DEFEAT YOU!

THE WALLS HAVE NOT GONE AWAY! WE YELL AT THEM A LOT!
WAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLS! STOP IT! ALSO, DOORS!
DOOOOOOOOORRRRRS! OPEN! WE WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE! WHERE? WE DO NOT KNOW!
SOMEWHERE!

THERE ARE MANY THINGS WE ARE UNHAPPY WITH!
WALLS! DOORS! FLOOR!
WHY CAN'T WE EAT THAT? I WANT TO EAT THAT! ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?
OKAY! HI!
WE DO NOT LIKE LOUD NOISES! SHH! QUIET! WE ARE TRYING TO DO THINGS!
IMPORTANT THINGS! WE ARE CATS!

HERE IS A SONG ABOUT THE FRIDGE!
FEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEE!
I LIKE YOU! HI! FRIDGE!
I WILL SIT ON YOU! YOU ARE FULL OF FOOD! FOOOOOOOOOOD!
WHAT TIME IS IT? CAN I EAT NOW? SNACKTIME!
FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

OKAY! HI! THAT IS ALL!
ELOISE SAYS I SHOULD NOT CHASE HER SO MUCH! HMPH! I AM MONCHI! HI!

THE MAGNIFICENT MISTER MAX!

2007-01-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

WE HAVE SHOWN YOU OUR FRIEND MAX BEFORE!
HE IS THE CAT FRIEND OF THE MOTHER OF GEORGE AND NINJA'S PERSON.
WE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT MAKES HIM IN RELATION TO GEORGIE AND THE NINJ.
GRANDCAT? GRANDPAWS?
HOW ABOUT - HE IS THE MOST HANDSOME FLUFFBALL EVER, AND WE WILL FIGURE OUT THE SEMANTICS LATER.

HERE HE IS IN HIS HOMETOWN OF SAINT JOHN, NEW BRUNSWICK.
WE HAVE NEVER BEEN TO NEW BRUNSWICK, BUT WE WERE IN NOVA SCOTIA AND WE DECLARE IT SCENIC AND BEAUTIFUL!
NEW BRUNSWICK MIGHT BEAT NOVA SCOTIA, THOUGH, BECAUSE IT HAS MAX. MAX!
WE ARE NOT SURE WHO THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO MAX IS, BUT WE WISH IT WERE US.

MAAAAAAAAX!

A DAY AT THE PAWFFICE!

2006-12-27T21:45:00.000-08:00

YOU CANNOT SEE IT IN THESE PHOTOS, BUT MISS MOUSE HAS A WHOLE ROOM OF HER OWN!
SHE SHARES IT WITH MONCHI, BUT SHE LIKES TO THINK IT IS HERS! ALL HERS!
IT HAS A BIG PLANT AND MANY WINDOWS AND A BIG RED DESK FOR SLEEPING ON!
ALSO, THE WINDOWS LOOK OUT ONTO THE BACK ALLEY! THAT IS WHERE THE SQUIRRELS ARE! SQUIRRELS!
THE PHOTOS JUST SHOW A BRICK WALL, BUT WE PROMISE THAT THERE ARE SQUIRRELS! ALSO, BIRDS! AND BIG RACCOONS THAT ELLIE WOULD TOTALLY FIGHT IF SHE COULD JUST CLIMB OUT THOSE DANGED WINDOWS!

ZZZ!
WAKEY!
TIME FOR LOOKING!
(REPEAT AS NEEDED!)

GEORGIE CHRISTMAS!

2006-12-25T13:05:00.000-08:00

GEORGIE CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

GUEST PUP!

2006-12-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

LOTS OF PEOPLE HAVE FOUND THE PAWS BY GOOGLING "POT ROAST + BULLDOG," WHICH LEADS THEM TO THIS POST.
WE ARE SORRY WE ARE NOT THE OFFICIAL SITE OF POT ROAST, THE BULLDOG! HE IS A GREAT DUDE! HE DESERVES A FAN CLUB!
BUT! WE HAVE BROUGHT IN A SPECIAL GUEST STAR TO CONSOLE YOU!

PRESENTING.... FRENCH BULLDOG PUP!!!

WE DO NOT KNOW HIS NAME. WE GOOGLED HIM, TOO!
WE FOUND MANY GREAT FRENCH BULLDOGS! ALL BULLDOGS ARE GREAT, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ESPECIALLY ADORABLE ABOUT THE FRENCH ONES! THEIR WRINKLE-SMUSH-FACES ARE MIND-BLOWING! SO SAD AND CUTE!
WE HOPE GEORGE BUSH DOES NOT DECIDE TO PROTEST THEM AND CALL THEM "FREEDOM BULLDOGS"!

FRENCH BULLDOGS, YOU ARE FANTASTIC!

PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO FIND OUT ABOUT POT ROAST, THE AMAZING SUPERDOG, WE ARE SORRY WE COULD NOT BE OF MORE HELP! BUT ALL PAWS ARE GREAT! FRENCH BULLDOG PAWS, ESPECIALLY!

THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST GEORGE!

2006-12-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

GOOBER!

NAP SOLID! TOP-NOTCH SMUSHING, LITTLE DUDE!
WE HEARD YOU GOT A NEW BED AND STOLE IT FROM YOUR BROTHER! IT COMPLIMENTS YOUR DELIGHTFUL HUE IN THE MOST FANTASTIC FASHION! GREEN WOULD ALSO LOOK NICE WITH YOUR ORANGE STRIPES, BUT BLUE IS REALLY QUITE LOVELY!

WE ALSO HEARD THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING NEW!
WE HEARD THAT YOU HAVE LEARNED TO JUMP UP ONTO THINGS!
GREAT WORK, LITTLE GEORGE!
HAVE YOU LEARNED TO NOT SQUEAK AT EVERYTHING? THAT IS OKAY, MOO HAS NOT LEARNED EITHER!

DOPPLEMOO!

2006-12-16T20:23:00.000-08:00

WHEN MOO AND ELLIE WERE LITTLE, THEY GOT TO LIVE WITH THEIR GOOD FRIEND SARAH!
MOO WAS ALWAYS A SUCKY BABY AROUND SARAH. HE LOVED TO PAW-PAW AND SPOON WITH HER THE MOST!
EVERY TIME SARAH HEARS A STORY ABOUT MOO BEING A TEDDY BEAR, SHE SAYS "I KNOW!" MOO PRACTISED HIS TEDDY BEAR MOVES ON HER FIRST! HE LOVES HIS BIG SISTER! ELOISE IS ALSO A FAN!

MOO AND ELLIE ARE NOT SARAH'S ONLY FANS!
THERE IS AN AWESOME NEIGHBOUR CAT IN OTTAWA THAT WE HAVE NOT MET YET, BUT HE HAS DECIDED TO INVITE HIMSELF OVER FOR SLEEPOVERS! HIS NAME IS ZIGGY AND HE IS LIKE A WHITE MOO! HE IS VERY ADORABLE AND WE HAVE HEARD MANY GREAT STORIES ABOUT HIM AND WOULD LIKE TO COME VISIT HIM SOON!
HE IS LIKE BIZARRO MOO!
NOW WE JUST NEED TO FIND A CAT WHO IS THE REVERSE OF ELOISE! BLACK WITH GREY STRIPES! BUT WAIT! MAYBE ELOISE IS ACTUALLY BLACK WITH GREY STRIPES HERSELF, AND NOT GREY WITH BLACK STRIPES? FINDING A BIZARRO ELLIE IS GOING TO BE HARDER THAN BIZARRO MOO!

AND NOW - MEET ZIGGY! CUTEST NEIGHBOUR CAT IN ALL OF THE 613!

THE AWESOMEST!
LOOK AT HIS EYES! LIKE AMAZING JU-JUBES OF FANTASTICNESS!
YOU ARE A SMART ONE, ZIGGY! YOU PICKED THE BEST HOUSE TO BE NEXT TO, EVER! YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE MANY TUMMY RUBS AND GOOD SONGS AS LONG AS SARAH AS YOUR NEIGHBOUR!

HEY, CHICAGO!

2006-12-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

HOLY TOLEDO!
ACTUALLY, HOLY 240 MILES FROM TOLEDO!
TODAY'S SPECIAL GUESTS ARE FROM ONE OF OUR FAVOURITESTS TOWNS EVER, CHICAGO!

CHICAGO IS THE BEST!
WE HAVE NOT BEEN THERE IN TOO LONG!
WE MISS TACO VEGAS!
ALSO, IRAZU!
EVEN MONCHI LOVES IRAZU! SOMETIMES WHEN HE HOWLS, IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS SAYING
IRAAAAAAAZUUUUUU!!!

AND NOW - THE CATS!

LITTLE WYATT!

AAAAAARGH! SO AMAZING! WE JUST WANT TO PICK HIM UP AND SAY "DUDE! LITTLE DUDE! YOU ARE SERIOUSLY FANTASTIC!"
WE BET HE IS ALL WARM AND SOFT AND THAT HIS FUR STICKS UP IN A HILARIOUS FASHION!
SO REGAL! HE MUST HAVE BEEN TAKING MODELLING CLASSES FROM THE SCHOOL OF MISS ELOISE!
STRIPES TO THE RIGHT! WHISKERS OUT! RIGHT-ON!

AND LOOK AT HIS SISTER, MONKEE!

(eep! correction! we erroneously called monkee a boy, even though she is very obviously a girl.
monkee! sorry! we know you do not subscribe to the gender roles, but we would like to say
you are a very regal girl cat. girl!)

SO SERIOUS! SHE DOES NOT EVEN NOTICE HER POM-POM-ON-A-SPRING!
WHAT IS SHE STARING AT? FOODS? BIRDS? WYATT?
WE LIKE THE TYPER IN THE BACKGROUND. IT MAKES US THINK MONKEE IS SECRETLY A HEMINGWAY CAT!
SHE IS NOT THE POLYDACTYL KIND, THOUGH!
SHE IS THE KIND THAT WRITES SHORT STORIES AND GETS DRUNK ON WAY TOO MUCH WINE!
EITHER THAT, OR THE TYPER BELONGS TO HER HUMAN!
WE ARE SURE THE LATTER MAKES MORE SENSE, BUT WE LIKE TO THINK THAT MONKEE IS SECRETLY WRITING THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL!

ALSO! THE NAME "WYATT" IS VERY FANTASTIC!
IT REMINDS US OF OUR FRIEND WYATT, WHO IS ON THE COVER OF THIS RECORD!
WYATT TOLD US THE STORY OF THE PHOTOGRAPH ON THE RECORD, AND MAYBE HE WAS LYING BUT WE THINK IT IS THE BEST FABLE EVER!
APPARANTLY, THE PHOTO WAS TAKEN AT A PLACE CALLED "WYATT'S WONDERFUL WORLD OF DONKEYS"!
AND SO ON THE COVER, WYATT IS ON ONE OF THE DONKEYS AT WYATT'S WORLD!
ALSO, WYATT LOVES DONKEYS IN GENERAL, MAKING THE STORY EVEN MORE FANTASTICAL!
WE DO NOT HAVE ANY PICTURES OF THE WONDERFUL DONKEY WORLD, THOUGH. WE DO NOT KNOW IF IT EVEN EXISTS. MAYBE WE WILL JUST START ASKING PEOPLE FOR DIRECTIONS NEXT TIME WE ARE NEAR WHERE WE HEARD IT WAS.
"EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW TO GET TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DONKEYS?"

IN CONCLUSION!
WYATT AND MONKEE ARE FANTASTAMAZINGCAL!
THANK YOU, JESSICA, FOR SENDING US THEIR PICTURES!
TELL THEM WE WILL BUY THEM A BLACK BEAN SANDWICH NEXT TIME WE ARE IN TOWN!

SUPERKITTEN! ALSO, CLAWLINS!

2006-11-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS NOT GOOD!
TODAY IS WHEN HUMANS REALIZE THEY HAVE A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD OF WORK DUE TOMORROW AND MAYBE THEY DID NOT EVEN START IT BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY WATCHING ELOISE SLEEP WITH HER BELLY IN THE AIR!
AAAAAARGH!

BUT! WE THINK MAYBE THINGS MIGHT BE OKAY!
WE GOT A SIGN!

REMEMBER OUR FRIEND CLAWLINS?
WE FINALLY GOT TO SEE A NEW PICTURE OF HIM AND LOOK HOW HANDSOME AND FANTASTIC HE IS!

DUDE! NOT A LITTLE DUDE! NOW A SLIGHTLY LARGER DUDE!
WELL, STILL A LITTLE DUDE! BUT NOT AS LITTLE AS BEFORE!
STILL VERY AWESOME!

AND AND AND!
CLAWLINS HAS A SISTER!!!
ZOMG!

SHE DOES NOT HAVE A NAME YET!
MAY WE SUGGEST "SUPERAWESOME GREATSOCKS, THE CAT?"
SO AMAZING! SERIOUSLY!
WE THINK MAYBE WE WILL JUST STARE AT HER AND CLAWLINS AND TRY TO GET A LITTLE WORK DONE, THEN STARE SOME MORE, THEN WORK A LITTLE, THEN STARE SOME MORE!
SUPERKITTEN MOTIVATION!

DON'T TRY, MEW!

SCHOOLY E!

2006-11-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

A++!!!

ELLIEBEAN!

2006-11-23T20:03:00.000-08:00

PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF THAT ELOISE IS PART JELLYBEAN!

LOOK AT HER!
TOTAL BEAN!
ELLIE AND MOO GOT NEW BLANKETS IN THE MAIL AND NOW THEY HAVE A FANCY WINDOW SEAT AND EVEN MORE BLANKET COVERAGE ON THE COUCH!
THEY THINK IT IS WEIRD THAT THE BLANKETS ARE PATTERENED LIKE JUNGLE CATS!
ONE IS LIKE A LEOPARD AND ONE IS LIKE A TIGER!
MOO SAYS "WHY IS THERE NO MOO-PATTERNED BLANKET?"
HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THAT A MOO BLANKET WOULD BE A SHAG RUG!

ALSO!
IGNORE THE CRUMBS AND THE BLURRINESS!

HOLY PAWS!
ELOISE IS THE MOST ADORABLE SLEEPER EVER!
WE TRY NOT TO WAKE HER WHEN SHE IS NAPPING! SHE MAKES TINY LITTLE SNORES!
SOMETIMES SHE WILL WAKE AND SEE YOU AND MAKE AN EWOK DUCKY SOUND!
WE PROMISE, IT IS ADORABLE!
ELOISE!

ZOMG!!11!!!!!!1!

2006-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

CAN'T TALK!
MIND BLOWN!
SO MUCH AWESOMEOSITY!
GOOBERNINJ!
AAAAAAAARGH!!!

THE ROYAL WINTER RIGHT-ON!

2006-11-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

SPECIAL ROYAL WINTER FAIR EDITION!
GUEST-STARRING SUPERDOGS! AND ALSO JEFF!
NOTICEABLY LACKING: MONCHI AND ELOISE!
WE TOLD THEM THE FAIR WAS FULL OF LARGE ODIFEROUS CREATURES, AND THEY SAID "THAT IS DUMB! NOT RIGHT-ON! WE ARE GOING TO STAY HERE AND FIND THINGS TO CHEW! YOU BETTER HAVE TREATS FOR US WHEN YOU GET BACK!"
WE ARE SORRY THE FAIR FEATURED MORE HOOVES THAN PAWS.
WE WILL RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PAW-ING SHORTLY!

THE FAIR WAS MOSTLY FULL OF SCARY BOOTHS. THERE WAS MORE STUFF THAN ANIMALS!
COWBOY HATS IN VARIOUS COLOURS! MANY KINDS OF FEED! SHIRTS WITH UNICORNS ON THEM!
WE REALLY WANTED A UNICORN SHIRT, BUT THEY WERE $20 AND WE NEEDED TO SAVE OUR MONEY FOR FUDGE.
FUDGE!

THE FIRST ANIMALS WE SAW WERE BABY CHICKS AND THEY WERE SAD. NOT RIGHT-ON.
THEN, LOTS OF HORSES! ONE HAD FURRY FEET LIKE MOO!
THEN, A PONY! HE WAS WHITE AND HAD STRAGGLY FUR. WE THINK HE IS IN A SKID ROW COVER BAND AND SNEAKS OUT OF HIS STALL AT NIGHT TO PERFORM!

THEN WE FOUND MORE FARM CREATURES!
COWS! COWS! COWS GALORE!
SADLY, NO HIGHLAND COWS.

THIS COW WAS HUGE! VERY HUGE! QUITE COLLOSAL!
ALSO, SHE GAVE US THE SHIFTY-EYE!
WE THINK MAYBE SHE IS THE HEAD DETECTIVE AT THE COW POLICE PLAZA. SHE RULES WITH AN IRON HOOF!

AT THE FAIR, JEFF SAID "WHY DOES IT SMELL SO BAD IN HERE?"
HE IS FROM THE CITY. HE THINKS HAMBURGERS COME FROM A MACHINE. BURGATRON-5000.
WE LIKE THE SMELL OF COUNTRY ANIMALS! WE LIKE IT BECAUSE IT IS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY FANTASTIC CREATURES!
COWS! SHEEP! PIGS! HORSES! GOATS! OTHER ANIMALS WE FORGET!

THEN WE SAW SOMETHING VERY FANTASTIC!

DO NOT WORRY, THAT IS NOT A BOY WITH A COW FOR A HEAD!

IT IS THE LUCKIEST BOY EVER!
HE GETS TO NAP WITH A COW! WE DID NOT KNOW COWS LIKED TO NAP WITH HUMANS!
WE BET THE BOY IS SUPER-FANTASTIC, IF A COW LIKES HIM THAT MUCH!
WE LIKE HOW HE WAS SO RIGHT TUCKERED OUT, HE JUST CRAWLED ON IN WITH THE COW!
BEST KID EVER!

THESE KIDS WERE ALSO GREAT!

THEY WERE NAPPING IN A FANTASTIC FASHION!
WE DID NOT WAKE THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE VERY CUTE, AND ALSO BECAUSE WE DID NOT WANT THEM TO CHEW ON OUR SHOES!

THEN IT WAS TIME FOR SUPERDOGS!
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HAS SEEN THE SUPERDOGS, BUT NOT ME.
SUPERDOGS ARE TRULY SUPER! IF THEY WENT BY ANY OTHER NAME, IT WOULD BE A LIE!
"VERY GOOD DOGS"? NO WAY!
"FANTASTIC DOGS"? NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
"DOGS THAT RUN REAL GOOD AND GO THROUGH ARCHES AND A TUNNEL THING AND CAN JUMP REAL HIGH"? ACCURATE,
BUT NOT ACCURATE ENOUGH.

SUPERDOGS!
OUR PHOTOS CAME OUT BLURRY BECAUSE WE WERE TOO BUSY HAVING OUR MINDS BLOWN BY THE SUPERDOGS FOR US TO REMEMBER TO HOLD THE CAMERA STILL.
MOST OF THE DOGS WERE TOO FAST FOR US TO TAKE PICTURES OF, BUT WE DID GET A PICTURE OF AN AWESOME DUDE!
PUFF DADDY!
HE IS EIGHT MONTHS OLD AND IS NOT ALLOWED TO RUN WITH THE HORSES BECAUSE HE WILL HERD THEM!
HE HAS TO WEAR HIS FUR IN A LITTLE ELASTIC ON TOP OF HIS HEAD SO IT DOES NOT GET IN HIS EYES!
YOU MAY THINK IT SOUNDS DORKY, BUT YOU ARE WRONG! HE IS EXTRA GREAT AND IT IS NOT HIS FAULT IF HE WAS BORN SO VERY FUZZY!

HERE IS HIS REAR!

AND HERE IS HIS FRONT!
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LOOK AT HIS FEETS! SO FURRY! SO GREAT!
WHAT A DUDE! TOTALLY AWESOME!

THERE WERE LOTS OF OTHER SUPERDOGS BUT WE DID NOT GET PICTURES.
WE LIKED POT ROAST THE BEST! WE LIKED THEM ALL THE BEST, BUT POT ROAST WAS A HILARIOUS DUDE!
HE IS A BULLDOG AND SOMETIMES HE FORGETS HE IS A SUPERDOG!
SOMETIMES HE SAYS "THIS COURSE IS DUMB" AND ATTACKS THE BIG GARBAGE-CAN-SHAPED THING!
YOU KNOW HE IS SAYING "ATTAAAAAAAACK!"
THAT GARBAGE CAN MUST HAVE CROSSED HIM, BECAUSE HE WENT BACK TO ATTACK IT AGAIN AND AGAIN!
EVEN AFTER HE FINISHED THE COURSE, HE STILL RAN BACK TO ATTACK IT!
ATTAAAAAAACK!

WE ALSO MET THIS LITTLE DUDE!

HER NAME IS OLLIE AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A GORILLA!
SHE IS VERY NICE AND WILL SNUFFLE-SNUFFLE AT YOU AND STARE IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE!
WE THOUGHT SHE HAD US TRAPPED FOREVER, BUT THEN SHE SAW ANOTHER DOG AND DECIDED TO STARE AT IT FOR A VERY LONG TIME!

THAT IS ALL OUR ROYAL WINTER FAIR NEWS!
THE FAIR IS VERY SMELLY, BUT YOU CAN BUY PEROGIES AND ROSTI AND ALSO MANY VARIETIES OF FUDGE!
TOP-NOTCH!
NEXT YEAR, WE WILL REMEMBER TO READ THE MAP BEFORE WE LEAVE SO WE DO NOT MISS THE PETTING ZOO OR BUNNIES OR BUTTER SCULPTURES! ALSO - GIANT VEGETABLES!
SO RIGHT-ON!

ROLLIN' WIT THA MOO!

2006-11-04T01:57:00.000-08:00

SOMETIMES WHEN MOO WANTS TO SAY HELLO, HE WILL FLIP-FLOP ROLL AROUND THE KITCHEN FLOOR!
HE ALSO ENJOYS ROLLING ON VARIOUS OTHER FLOORS!
SO LONG AS SOMEONE IS THERE TO SAY "RIGHT-ON, LITTLE GUY! HELLO!" MOO WILL ROLL AND ROLL!
WE CAME UP WITH A RAP FOR HIM ENTITLED "ROLLING WITH THE MOO!"
WE THINK MAYBE IT SHOULD BE CALLED "ROLLIN' WIT THA MOO" IF MONCHI WANTS TO KEEP HIS STREET CRED, YO!

IT GOES LIKE THIS!

ROLLING WITH THE MOO, WITH THE MOO, WITH THE MOO
ROLLING WITH THE MOO, WITH THE MOO
DID I EVER SEE A GUY AS FUZZY AS YOU?
HECK, NO!
YOU'RE THE MOO, YOU'RE THE MOO, YOU'RE THE MOO!

THERE ARE OTHER VERSES, BUT THEY ONLY GET INVENTED WHEN MOO DOES NEW THINGS AND THEN THEY ARE QUICKLY FORGOTTEN IN FAVOUR OF STARING AT THE MOO!

ANYWAY!
EVEN WHEN MOO NAPS, HE ROLLS!
AND ALSO, FOR SOME REASON, IS BATHED IN A PINK-ISH GLOW FROM THE AFTERNOON SUN!
PRESENTING "NAPTIME WITH RECENTLY-AWOKEN LITTLE DUDE!"

AAAAAAAAAAANNNND...

TOES!!!

GOODBYE, LITTLE DUDE.

2006-10-29T20:00:00.000-08:00

WE MET MACHA IN NEW YORK SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS AGO.
HE WAS A TEENY-TINY-HIDEY LITTLE DUDE, AND WE THOUGHT HE WAS VERY RIGHT-ON.
HE AND HIS PERSON MOVED TO RICHMOND, VIRGINIA, A WHILE BACK. WE HAVE NOT SEEN EITHER OF THEM IN A LONG WHILE BECAUSE RICHMOND IS NOT SO CLOSE TO HERE.

THE OTHER DAY, WE FOUND OUT THAT LITTLE MACHA HAD GOTTEN VERY SICK AND THAT HE HAD TO BE PUT TO SLEEP.
HIS PERSON IS SORE AND SAD, AND WE ARE VERY SAD, TOO.
MACHA WAS A GREAT LITTLE GUY. WE ONLY HAD TO MEET HIM ONCE TO KNOW THAT.
HIS PERSON IS ALSO FANTASTIC, AND WE WILL SEND MANY PURRS AND PAW-PAWS TO HER.

GOODBYE, LITTLE MACHA.
WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WERE LOVED, AND WE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU ARE MISSED.

DOPPLEKITTEN!

2006-10-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

HOLY TIGER TAILS!
WE JUST SAW THIS PHOTO ON THE DAILY PUPPY AND SAID "ELOISE! WHEN DID YOU MEET SUCH A GREAT PUPPY?"
BUT! IT IS NOT ELOISE!
TWIN KITTY'S NAME IS ELI! HOW GREAT IS THAT? THAT IS LIKE THE BOY EQUIVALENT OF ELOISE!
WE THINK ELOISE AND ELI SHOULD MEET! CAN YOU IMAGINE? SO MANY TABBY STRIPES!

AND AND AND!
LOOK HOW MUCH BIGGER ELI IS THAN PUP-PUP!
AND AND AND!
PUP-PUP IS ADORABLE!
MARLEY! LITTLE DUDE! YOU ARE A FANTASTIC LITTLE GUY! YOUR EYES ARE LIKE CHOCOLATE BEANS OF INCREDIBLENESS!
WE HOPE YOU HAVE AN AWESOME TIME PLAYING IN THE GRASS AND NAPPING AND CHEWING ON THINGS AND GROWING UP TO BE A SUPER-RIGHT-ON BIG OL' DOG!

ALSO! ELI!
HOW GREAT IS IT THAT YOU WILL SHARE YOUR NAPTIME WITH LITTLE PUP?
SO VERY KIND OF YOU! RIGHT-ON!

ELI AND MARLEY ARE A FANTASTIC PAIR!
WE DO NOT KNOW THEM, BUT IF WE EVER MET THEM WE WOULD SHAKE THEIR PAWS!
ELOISE IS PROUD TO SHARE A LIKENESS WITH SUCH A GREAT CAT WHO IS FRIENDS WITH SUCH A SUPER PUP!

COMING SOON! MAYBE!
ELI AND ELOISE STAR IN
MATCHING STRIPES! THE MEWSICAL!
FEATURING THE HIT SONGS
"THOSE ARE SOME PRETTY GREAT STRIPES"
AND "HOLY TOLEDO! WE ARE AWESOME!"

ABSOLUTELY NO PAWS AT ALL!

2006-10-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

BUT IF THIS WERE CALLED "THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE GREATEST TENTACLES," I KNOW WHO WOULD WIN!

TIPPY-TOE OCTOPI!

SO INCREDIBLE!
THEY HIDE SIX OF THEIR TENTACLES AND RUN AWAY ON TWO!
THEY TRICK THEIR PREDATORS INTO THINKING THEY ARE PLANTS!
AND LOOK AT HOW THEY RUN!
WATCH THE VIDEO!
TIPPY-TOES! TIPPY-TOES!

BIPEDAL-LOCOMOTION OCTOPI, I LOVE YOU!

NAP BRIGADE!

2006-10-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

SHHH!
THEY'RE SLEEPING!

MISS MOUSE OVERLOAD!

2006-10-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

ELOISE! ELOISE! EHHHHHLOHHHHHEEEEEEEESE!
SUCH A LITTLE BABY HAM!
LOOK AT HER POSE! FIERCE!
WE TOLD YOU MISS MOUSE ALWAYS STRETCHES OUT HER FANTASTIC FEETS IN THE MOST ADORABLE FASHION!
ELLIE! YOU ARE THE BEST! EEEEEEE!
ALSO! ELOISE SLEEPS IN THE SHAPE OF A JELLYBEAN! A LITTLE ELLIEBEAN!
AND! IF YOU WAKE THE SLEEPING ELLIE, SHE WILL QUACK QUACK QUACK LIKE A DUCK!
ELOISE! WE WILL LET YOU SLEEP NOW, BUT WE MIGHT HAVE TO WAKE YOU TO TELL YOU HOW AWESOME YOU ARE REAL SOON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE DUDES!

2006-10-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

DUDES! IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
YOU ARE ELEVEN YEARS OLD!
ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR BIRTHDAY TUNA?
MOO! DO NOT EAT IT ALL! YOU MUST SHARE!
ELLIE! DID YOU GET SOME? OKAY, THEN!
YOU ARE THE AWESOMEST BEANS EVER!

TWO! TWO! DUDES! DUDES!

2006-10-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

HERE, MISTER NINJA AND MISTER GOOB DEMONSTRATE WHY DUDES SHOULD ALWAYS COME IN PAIRS!

TWO DUDES = OPTIMAL PAW-SNUGGLING!

IF YOU ARE GOING TO ADOPT A CAT, GO ALL DOUBLEMINT AND GET TWO!
TWO DUDES HAVE WAY MORE FUN!
THEY CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER! IF THERE IS JUST ONE DUDE, IT WILL TALK TO THE HUMANS AND WONDER WHY THEIR MEASLY BRAINS DO NOT UNDERSTAND!
TWO DUDES CAN PLAY TOGETHER!
MONCHI AND ELOISE ARE A TOP-NOTCH SOCCER TEAM!
GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL!!!
ALSO, TWO DUDES WILL WRESTLE! IF ELOISE IS ONE OF THE DUDES AND MONCHI IS THE OTHER, ELLIE WILL ALWAYS WIN!
AND TWO DUDES CAN WASH EACH OTHER'S HEADS, WHICH IS BOTH HIGHLY PRACTICAL AND SO VERY ENTERTAINING!

TWO DUDES = BEST DUDES!

LUNCHTIME WITH MOO!

2006-10-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
HOW ARE YOU?
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME LUNCH?
I HAVE A SANDWICH IN MY TUPPERWARE, LET ME GET IT FOR YOU!
HOLD ON...

MOOOOOOO!
OKAY, WE KNOW YOU CANNOT SEE HIS FACE IN THE PICTURE, BUT WE SWEAR, THAT REALLY IS MOO AND HE REALLY IS SITTING ON MY LUNCH!
DUDE, C'MON!
CAN'T YOU SHARE?
MOO EATS EVERYTHING, AND IF HE CANNOT EAT IT, HE WILL SIT ON IT!
TAKE THAT, TUPPERWARE!

PS. WE WERE GOING TO CALL THIS POST "MOO, A-LA CAT" BUT IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
UNLIKE SITTING ON TUPPERWARE, WHICH MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

PAWW YEAH!

2006-10-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

SORRY WE HAD TO CRUDDILY LIGHTEN THE PICTURE IN PHOTOSHOP, BUT HOLY PAW-PAW!
LOOK AT ELLIE'S TOES!
THE REASON THE PICTURE WAS SO DARK IS THAT WE DID NOT WANT THE FLASH TO WAKE HER!
LOOK AT THOSE TOES! LOOOOOK!
WOULD YOU WANT TO WAKE SUCH A FANTASTIC CREATURE?
NO WAY!

ELLIE HAS THE BEST SLEEPY POSES EVER!
EV-ER!!!
SHE STRETCHES HER FANTAST-AMAZ-ICIOUS STRIPEY ARMS OUT REEEEEEEEEAL LONG, AND LETS THEM FLOP OVER THE COUCH OR THE BED OR THE BLANKET OR HER BROTHER!
SO GREAT!
ALSO, ELLIE HAS THE MOST ADORABLE SNUFFLE-SHUFFLE SNORE!
AND SOMETIMES, SHE SIGHS REAL LOUDLY RIGHT AS SHE FALLS TO SLEEP!
FOR SERIOUS!

MISS ELLIE BEAN, YOU ARE ONE FANTASTIC LADY!

PS. MONCHI AND ELOISE ARE TURNING 11 YEARS OLD ON THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19TH!
YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO SEND THEM WELL-WISHES, OR FISHES!

PAWS OF FURY!

2006-10-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

OH EM GEE!
IT IS HARD TO TYPE WHEN MY MIND IS SO BLOWN!
CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING DUDE (PART 8,947 IN THE SERIES ENTITLED AWESOME CATS I DO NOT KNOW, BUT I WISH I DID)!

IT'S BRUCE LEE!
WAIT, NO!
HIS NAME IS DIGBY!
BUT I AM PRETTY SURE THAT IS A TYPO AND IT REALLY IS BRUCE LEE, CAT VERSION!
CHECK OUT THE KUNG-FU STANCE!
WATCH IT! LITTLE BRUCE IS GOING TO WHOOP YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!
PAWS AT THE READY!

WE ALSO THINK BRUCE LEE, CAT VERSION, IS READY TO DANCE!
FIRST HE WILL KUNG-FU KICK YOU ACROSS THE ROOM, THEN HE WILL PAW-PAW YOUR BROKEN LIMBS, AND THEN HE WILL DO A LITTLE VICTORY DANCE WITH HIS PAWS IN THE AIR!
PICTURE HIM DOING THE CABBAGE PATCH!
SO GREAT!

DIGBY, YOU ARE FANTASTIC!
YOUR WHITE-GLOVE PAWS ARE DELIGHTFUL AND ELEGANT!
YOUR COLLAR IS REGAL!
YOUR LOOK LIKE YOU ARE PLANNING SOMETHING EEEEVIL!
IF THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN PEOPLE ARE LOOKING, WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO WHEN NO-ONE IS AROUND?

DIGBY IS #1!
ENTER THE DIGBY!!!

DANG!

2006-10-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

SORRY THERE HAVE BEEN NO NEW PHOTOS OF THE DUDES FOR A WHILE!
WE HAVE TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT THEY NEED SOME NEW POSES, BUT THEY ARE STICKING WITH THE CLASSICS!
MOO STEALING THE PILLOW!
ELLIE SHOWING HER BELLIE!
WE LOVE THE CLASSICS, BUT MAYBE YOU DON'T?

MISS MOUSE WILL TIDE YOU OVER WITH ONE OF HER PERENNIAL FAVOURITES:

PAW PAW PAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWS!

OMG! PAWRTY!

2006-09-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

HOLY TOLEDO!
TODAY'S SPECIAL GUESTS ARE SUPER-PAWESOME!

PRESENTING...
SIX-TOED SALLY CINNAMON AND BRUCE!

DUDE!
DUUUUDE!
ARE THOSE PAWS FOR REAL?
SIX-TOED SAL, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!

WAY TO NAP, MISS FUZZ!
BELLY IN THE AIR FOR OPTIMAL SUN!
THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAKE THIS PICTURE BETTER IS IF SALLY WAS WEARING MITTENS KNITTED ESPECIALLY FOR HER EXTRA-TOED-PAWS!

UM, BRUCE?
DID YOU EAT A ROBOT?
UH-OH.
BRUCE?

ONE AWESOME DUDE + ONE AWESOME DUDE
= MIND BLOWN!

THANK YOU, PETE & SHANNON!
WE LOVE POLYDACTYLS AND LASER-EYED KITTENS!
AWESOMETACULAR!

CATS WE DO NOT KNOW, PART FOUR!

2006-09-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

FIRST, THERE WAS JEFFREY!
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO MEET JEFFREY A FEW WEEKS AGO AND HE IS AWESOME!
WE HEARD HE IS SCARED OF EVERYONE, BUT HE LET US PET HIM!
HE ENJOYS SITTING AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS AND WATCHING THINGS! THEN FALLING ASLEEP! THEN WAKING UP AND WATCHING SOME MORE!
ALSO, HE HAS THE SAME FAVOURITE TOY AS MOO! EXCEPT THAT JEFFREY IS EVEN SMARTER THAN MOO AND ATE HALF HIS TOY! MOO IS IMPRESSED!

THEN THERE WAS BOO!
BOO IS OUR IDOL!
HE IS BIG AND FAT AND LIVES IN A MOVIE THEATRE!
WE WANT TO KNOW IF ANYONE EVER TRIES TO SIT IN HIS SEAT, AND, IF THEY DO, WHAT THEIR PROBLEM IS!

AND WHO COULD FORGET WEIRD CREEPY CRAIGSLIST CAT THAT WE ARE PRETTY SURE IS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! HAS ANYONE BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS? IS IT TIME TO WELCOME OUR SMUSH-FACED OVERLORD YET?

TODAY, WE BRING YOU AN EXCITING NEW CAT
THAT WE HAVE NOT MET!
IT'S MAX!

MAX LIVES IN NEW BRUNSWICK!
HE IS RELATED TO NINJA AND GOOBER, BUT WE ARE NOT SURE HOW.
HE LIVES WITH THE MOM OF NINJA & GEORGE'S PERSON.
DOES THAT MAKE HIM THEIR GRANDPAW?
HE IS EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD-LOOKING. HE COMBINES THE FANTASTIC COLOURING OF GEORGE WITH THE EXCEPTIONAL FUZZINESS OF THE NINJ!
WE HOPE WE CAN MEET HIM ONE DAY! HE IS A TOP-NOTCH GUY!

MOOSICAL!

2006-09-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

FROM A DISTANCE
YOUR PAW LOOKS EXTRA-GREAT!
IT HAS FUR BETWEEN THE TOES!
FROM A DISTANCE
YOUR PAW IS FANTASTIC
IT IS THE BEST PAW IN THE WORLD!

MOO IS WATCHING US!
MOO IS WATCHING US!
MOO IS WATCHING US FROM A DISTANCE!

PS. THAT IS A BIG HONKING LIE!
MOO DOES NOT WATCH FROM A DISTANCE!
HE WATCHES FROM RIGHT CLOSE UP!
PREFERABLY ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD!
ALSO, THE PILLOW IS A GREAT PLACE FROM WHICH TO WATCH YOU!
WATCH YOU FOR SIGNS OF FOOOOOOOOOOD!
FOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

EVIL GENIUS!

2006-08-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

TODAY WE PRESENT TO YOU A SPECIAL FEATURE, ENTITLED "RANDOM CAT WE FOUND ON CRAIGSLIST WHO WE THINK IS TOTALLY PAWSOME!"

THE HUMAN IN THIS PICTURE IS LOOKING FOR A ROOM.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS, AND, BECAUSE HE IS NOT A CAT, HE DOES NOT INTEREST US.
UNLESS HE IS THE GUY WHO MAKES CANNED CAT FOOD, THEN HE INTERESTS US A LOT!

WE DO NOT HAVE AN EXTRA ROOM TO RENT, BUT IF WE DID WE WOULD TOTALLY GIVE IT TO THIS FURRY DUDE:

CHEER UP, MISTER SMUSH!
WE THINK YOU ARE AWESOME AND WOULD NEVER INSULT YOU BY MAKING SILLY HAND GESTURES BEHIND YOUR HEAD!
WE KNOW FULL WELL THAT YOU CLAWED THAT HUMAN'S EYES OUT AS SOON AS THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN!

IS IT WEIRD THAT WE PICTURE THIS CAT READING HARPER'S AND THEN BECOMING DISGUSTED WITH THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CATS WHEN THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND HIS DISCUSSIONS?
WE PICTURE HIM TRYING TO DISCUSS THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE IN A BRITISH ACCENT, AND THEN SWATTING MONCHI OVER THE HEAD WHEN ALL MOO DOES IS HOWL AND THEN EAT THE HARPER'S.
WE ALSO LIKE TO PICTURE HIM WEARING A MONOCLE!

WE HOPE YOU FIND A GOOD HOME, CAT!
IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY ROYAL FIGURES WHO HAVE A VELVET FOOTSTOOL AND GOLD-TASSLED PILLOW TO SPARE, TELL THEM ABOUT MISTER SMUSH! BUT DO NOT TELL THEM THAT WE SECRETLY THINK HE IS PLOTTING TO OVERTHROW THEM!

ELOISE FLOOR REALZ!

2006-08-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

UH-OH!
ELOISE GOT STUCK IN A VORTEX! SHE HAS BEEN SENT BACK TO 1973, WHEN BROWN-AND-BROWNER LINO FLOORS WERE THE HEIGHT OF STYLE!
HELLLLLLLLP!
SHE'S GOT THE CRAZY EYE AGAIN!

PAWSTYLES OF THE SMALL AND FURRY, PART DEUX!

2006-08-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

MOO CONTINUES TO HIDE IN WHAT HE BELIEVES TO BE THE STEALTHIEST FASHION EVER!

WHAT?
I CANNOT SEE YOU, THEREFORE YOU CANNOT SEE ME!

AAAAAAARRRGH!
FOILED AGAIN!

IN FURTHER PAWSTYLES NEWS, MONCHI WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW HE IS UNHAPPY ABOUT THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
-THE BEDROOM WALL! IT MUST BE HOWLED AT!
MOO SAYS: "WALL! I WILL DEFEAT YOU! YOUR SUPPORTING BEAMS OFFER NO RESISTANCE!"
-THE WINDOW! EVEN IF IT IS OPEN!
-THE COUCH! ESPECIALLY UNDERNEATH!
MOO SAYS: "I AM ONTO YOU, LARGE CREATURE. YOU SWALLOWED MY TOYS UNDER YOUR COLLOSSAL BERTH. I DID NOT AUTHORISE THIS! RETURN THE TOYS TO ME, POST-HASTE! ESPECIALLY THE KNITTED PEA-POD PEAS!"
-HAIR ELASTICS! THEY HAVE TORMENTED MOO FOR YEARS, BUT ONE DAY, OHHHH, ONE FINE DAY, HE WILL EXACT HIS REVENGE!
-OTHER WALLS, BESIDES THE BEDROOM WALL!
MOO SAYS: "YOU AND YOUR ASSOCIATES WILL NOT STAND FOREVER! I WILL BRING YOU DOWN! ALL OF YOU! ALLLLL OF YOOOUUUU! AND THEN YOU WILL BE WINDOWS! WINNNNNNDOWWWWWS! AND I WILL YELL AT YOU SOME MORE!"

PAWSTYLES OF THE SMALL AND FURRY!

2006-08-16T14:08:00.000-07:00

IN TODAY'S EPISODE, WE LOOK AT FANTASTIC PLACES TO HIDE!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE PAWSTYLES OF THE SMALL AND FURRY!

KAYO!

2006-08-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

MEET KAYO!

SHE IS NOT A CAT! SHE IS A LITTLE BEAR! AND SHE IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!
SHE IS NOT FOR MONCHI OR ELOISE, BECAUSE THEY WILL EAT HER AND RUIN HER FANTASTIC DRESS.

OUR FRIEND CLAIRE MAKES FANTASTIC CREATURES!
LIONS AND BEARS AND OF COURSE THERE ARE CATS!
WE WOULD ADOPT THEM ALL IF WE COULD, BUT THEN THERE WOULD BE NO ROOM FOR MOO AND ELLIE!

WHAT'S UP(SIDE DOWN)?!

2006-08-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

MOO!
PAWS-UP, FUZZY DUDE!

ELOISE SAYS "THIS IS NONSENSE! SHEER LUNACY! I AM THE ONLY SENSIBLE ONE AROUND HERE! PLEASE PASS ME MORE SOCKS, PREFERABLY KNEE-HEIGHT!"

ELOISE HATES MOUSEWORK!

2006-08-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

BUT SHE DOES LOVE TO HELP WITH FILING!

OUR FAVOURITE SPECIAL GUESTS!

2006-07-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

NINJA AND GEORGE!

"In "georgesitting..." yes, George is actually sitting ON Ninja. They've
been that way for about 20 minutes now. If that doesn't demonstrate
Ninja's tolerance, I don't know what would. When he was a kitten I used
to say he was probably the guy at the bottom of the kitten pile sleeping
peacefully with someone's butt in his face. He's such a kind guy.

In the other one, I don't know if you can tell, but Ninja's paw is
resting on George."

NINJA IS LOOKING EXTRA-FLUFFY!
GEORGE IS ALSO TOP-NOTCH!
WE HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER BATH ANYTIME SOON!

ELOISE! ELOISE!

2006-07-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

SORRY WE HAVE NOT SHOWN YOU AWESOME PAWSITUDE IN A WHILE!
WE WERE AWAY, AND THEN WE WERE ILL. BUT NOW WE ARE BACK WITH A DOUBLE DOSE OF ELOISE!

HERE SHE IS WITH CATMINT!
THE CATMINT HAS BEEN GROWING IN THE KITCHEN FOR FOUR MONTHS!
ELOISE JUST NOTICED IT THE OTHER DAY!
SHE SAYS IT IS GOOD FOR SMELLING AND ALSO FOR CHEWING, AND IF YOU TRY TO TAKE IT SHE WILL STICK HER GREAT PAW ON IT!
BUT! SHE WILL SHARE IT WITH MONCHI! AND WE WILL BE TOO SLOW TO GET A PICTURE!

HEATWAVE? WHAT HEATWAVE?
ELOISE IS CHILLAXIN'!
HAMMOCKS CURE EVERYTHING!
TOO HOT? HAMMOCK! TIRED? HAMMOCK! BROTHER MOO ATE ALL YOUR TREATS? WHACK HIM WITH YOUR PAW AND THEN HAMMOCK!

WHO LET THE CAT IN THE BAG?

2006-07-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

ELOISE!
IT IS NOT TIME TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL YET!

THE GREATEST!

2006-07-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

THE PICTURE IS BLURRY, BUT IT IS STILL RIGHT-ON!
MOO AGREES WITH CATPOWER!
HE REALLY IS THE GREATEST!

MOO AND THE LOOKING WINDOW!

2006-07-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE MANY WINDOWS IN THE HOUSE, BUT MOO AND ELLIE'S FAVOURITE IS THE LOOKING WINDOW!
THE WINDOWSILL IS BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF THEM TO FIT ON, BUT SOMETIMES THEY FIGHT OVER IT ANYWAY!
MOO ESPECIALLY LIKES TO SLEEP IN THE WINDOW!

WAKE UP! AND...

YAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWN!

BOO!

2006-07-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

LOOK WHAT OUR BLOG CRUSH SENT US!

"i was in oregon the other day and we went to a movie. this cat lives at the theatre, i think. its name is boo and it weighs 19 pounds (although it is on a diet)."

WE THINK BOO IS TOP-NOTCH!
WE ENVY HIS LIFESTYLE!
WE ALSO THINK HE LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE ELOISE! HE HAS THE GOLDEN UNDERBELLY!

(WE DO NOT KNOW IF HE IS A BOY OR A GIRL, BUT WE THINK HE IS HANDSOME IN A BOY-CAT WAY)

WE LOVE CAT DISPATCHES FROM FAR AWAY!
THANK YOU SARAH, CAT REPORTER!

THE ELOISE HOUR!

2006-07-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

BABY HAM SAW US BRING OUT THE CAMERA!
FIERCE!
AND! IMPORTANT NEWS!

PAWWWW!!!

PAPER PAWS!

2006-07-06T15:48:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY THE POSTMAN BROUGHT US THIS FANTASTIC SHIRT FROM FERDINAND!

IT IS OUR NEW FAVOURITE THING.
IT CAME WRAPPED IN BLUE TISSUE PAPER, WHICH IS NOW ELOISE'S FAVOURITE THING!

IF YOU CANNOT FIND HER, HERE IS A HINT!
LOOK UNDER THE TABLE!

ALSO! MOO LOVES THE PAPER, TOO!
WE WILL TAKE PICTURES OF HIM SOON!
HE IS STILL BUSY ATTACKING TOILET PAPER!

JEFFREY!

2006-07-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

MEET JEFFREY!
HE LIVES IN OTTAWA!
HE LIKES TO ANNOUNCE THINGS! HE SAYS "HI! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! HI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CAN I COME TOO? HI! HIYA!"

HE LIKES TO SMUSH THE COMPUTER JUST LIKE MONCHI DOES, AND HE DOES NOT LIKE IT IF YOU CLOSE ANY DOORS. ELOISE DOES NOT LIKE THAT, EITHER! SHE SAYS "HEY! HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME?"

WE HOPE JEFFREY LEARNS THAT NIGHTTIME IS FOR SLEEPING, AND ALSO MAYBE COULD HE LEARN TO NOT YELL SO MUCH? BUT HE IS FANTASTICALLY CUTE, SO WE ARE PRETTY SURE IF HE KEEPS ON SQUEAKING NO-ONE WILL MIND.

ATTAAAAAACK, PART TWO!

2006-07-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

BEHOLD! THE GREATEST BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!
MONCHI VERSUS THE TOILET PAPER!

MINE! ONE DAY, YOU WILL BE MINE!

A-HA! THE TASTE OF VICTORY!
I ASSURE YOU, IT TASTES DELICIOUS!

YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME?
I AM MONCHI! YOU CANNOT RUN! I WILL CHEW YOU!
CHEWWWWWWWW YOUUUUUUUUUU!

MEH. TOILET PAPER WAS A BAD IDEA.

I'M YOUR FAN!

2006-06-25T18:58:00.000-07:00

WHAT'S THAT? OVER THERE? WHAT?
ELOISE! FIERCE!
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP CAT MODEL!

A BLURRY MOO!
ALL OUR PICTURES WERE BLURRED BECAUSE MOO WAS CHILLIN' BY THE FAN!
HIS FUR WAS DELIGHTFULLY FEATHERED!
CAN FUR BE FEATHERED? WELL, IT WAS!

MORE PICTURES OF ELOISE AND MONCHI PLAYING "AVOIDING THE STUPID HEAT AND LOUD SOCCER FANS" SOON!

INTERMISSION!

2006-06-21T16:56:00.000-07:00

SORRY! WE HAVE BEEN BUSY AND HAVE NEGLECTED OUR KITTENLY DUTIES!
WE WILL BE BACK SOON!
HERE! CONSOLE YOURSELF WITH OUR NEW FAVOURITE PUPPY!
WE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET ANY WORK DONE FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS BECAUSE WE JUST KEEP STARING AT HIS PAWS!

LITTLE GUY!

2006-06-12T21:01:00.000-07:00

POOR LITTLE GUY.
MOO IS GETTING USED TO HIS E-COLLAR, BUT IT IS MAKING US SO SAD TO HAVE TO MAKE HIM WEAR IT.
WE KEEP TRYING TRICKS TO GET HIM TO LEAVE HIS STITCHES ALONE, BUT HE KEEPS FOILING US.

DUDE! IF YOU COULD JUST LEAVE YOUR TAIL ALONE, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE TO WEAR THE COLLAR!
HE HAS TO WEAR IT ALL NIGHT AND WHEN WE ARE AT WORK BECAUSE WE CANNOT WATCH HIM ALL THE TIME.
HE GETS TO TAKE IT OFF WHEN WE ARE HOME AND CAN DISTRACT HIM IF HE TRIES TO EAT HIS TAIL.

WE DO NOT SLEEP MUCH ANYMORE. EITHER MOO WANTS TO SLEEP WITH US, OR WE STAY UP BECAUSE WE WORRY ABOUT HIM.

POOR LITTLE GUY.
OUR HEARTS ARE SORE.

BUT! ELOISE IS BEING SUPER-FANTASTIC ABOUT TAKING HER MEDICINE!
SOMETIMES SHE GIVES US THE STANK-EYE, BUT EVENTUALLY SHE FORGIVES US.

IT HAS BEEN A HARD WEEK FOR THE DUDES.
WE ARE VERY GRATEFUL THAT THEY HAVE A FANTASTIC CAT DOCTOR AND THAT WE DID NOT HAVE TO EBAY OUR PANTS TO PAY FOR THE VET BILLS.

SEND US PICTURES OF YOUR DUDES IN HAPPIER TIMES AND WE WILL TELL THEIR STORIES!
SORRY FOR RIDING ON A BUMMER!

OH, MOO!

2006-06-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

OH, MOO, WE HAD ALWAYS HOPED THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME.
OH, MOO.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TRY TO EAT YOUR STITCHES?
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS:

E-COLLAR!
LIKE THIS, ONLY MOO IS NOT A DOG.
THERE IS NO WAY WE ARE SHOWING PICTURES OF MOO IN HIS COLLAR.
LITTLE DUDE NEEDS HIS DIGNITY.

HE DOES NOT LIKE IT SO MUCH.
HE WALKS INTO WALLS AND FURNITURE AND THINKS HE CAN JUMP AND THEN FALLS OFF THE WINDOWSILL.
SOMETIMES, HE WALKS BACKWARDS. HE MOOWALKS! HE THINKS IF HE DOES THIS, HE WILL OUTWIT THE COLLAR.

IT BREAKS OUR HEART TO HAVE TO MAKE HIM WEAR IT.
WE TRIED OTHER ALTERNATIVES. WE BANDAGED HIS TAIL. HE UNDID IT.
WE EVEN PUT BAND-AIDS ON. HE TOOK THEM OFF.
AND SO NOW HE MUST WEAR THE COLLAR MOST OF THE TIME, EXCEPT FOR FOOD TIME AND SNACK TIME AND TIMES WHEN WE CAN WATCH HIS EVERY MOVE.

MOSTLY, MOO WANTS TO CURL UP WITH US WHEN HE WEARS THE COLLAR.
HE THINKS IT HELPS IF HE SLEEPS ON OUR HEAD.
WE HAVE NOT SLEPT VERY MUCH IN A WHILE. WE MAY BRING A SLEEPING BAG AND CAMP UNDER OUR DESK TOMORROW.
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS THAT WHEN MOO CURLS UP WITH US, HE PURR-PURR-PURRS.

MOO'S STITCHES COME OUT ON JUNE 19TH.
HE IS BEING VERY BRAVE AND WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HIM.

SEND HIM FAN MAIL AND WE WILL READ IT TO HIM!
HE MOSTLY ONLY UNDERSTANDS THE WORDS "OUT," "FOOD," AND "MONCHI!"

LOOK! MILTON HAS A BAND!

2006-06-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

OKAY, FINE.
MILTON DOES NOT HAVE A BAND. BUT HIS PERSON DOES!
ALSO HARRIET'S PERSON!
AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE, TOO. WE DO NOT KNOW IF THEY HAVE CATS.
IF THEY ARE RIGHT-ON, THEY DO!

PLAY SOME SONGS ABOUT PAWS!

OMG! IT'S MOO'N'MOO!

2006-06-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

WE COULD NOT DEPRIVE YOU OF PUP-PUP!
HERE YOU GO!